Thursday, July 07, 2011

Birth Story Haikus

I don't actually have time to write any (maybe later) but what A BRILLIANT Idea.

I happened to read snips of someone else's ghastly birth story to Matt a few weeks back and enlighten him as to the whole genre of blogging internet insanity.

"Are you serious?" He asked whispered in horror.
"Oh yeah," I said, "after you give birth you have about six months, although you can push it out to a year if you're really behind, to write a detailed account of everything that occurred in the course of giving birth, including but not limited to, the progress of labor, how contractions feel and are measured, how much kohosh your drink, your emotional and spiritual state, what kinds of things you say, how long you have to push..."
"STOP" he shouted, "too much information."

His suggestion after hearing the following line (which I won't link because I don't want to be mean)
For the first time in my militant homebirther’s life, I understood the draw of medicalized birth. ... Rounding the birth tub in the morning light, I vowed to be more compassionate towards women who give birth differently.
was that I ought, indeed he tried to command me, to write out my own birth story, moaning and bewailing the delicate prick of the blessed epidural needle, the joy and laughter of giving birth with no feeling at all, the vague discomfort of the blood pressure cup, the stale taste of the tea, the ridiculous size of the baby, however it got there, blah blah blah. But I think haikus are better.


Rich Gabrielson said...

Much harder to get "too much information" into a haiku! :-)

Julie said...

That woman didn't REALLY name her little baby "Pamela Scholastica," did she?!

That's the child's blog name, right? Perhaps some sort of Catholic whimsy along the lines of Beatrix Potter's Jemima Puddleduck or Dr. Seuss' Cindy Lou Who?

I went to grade school with a few "Dawns" and "Sunshines," thanks to their enlightened hippy parents. The girls wore their names with resignation or defensiveness. I can't imagine that religious fervor would lighten a "Pamela Scholastica's" burden.

Please tell me it's a pseudonym! Or they won't widely broadcast the whole name to her peers when the poor child is old enough to have a social group!

I like saints' names. My own son has a good one. But it ain't Cosmos Dismas! No matter how interesting and admirable, some saints just need to keep their names unique to themselves or their time period!