7 quick take: first real week back in reality

one

Last week I blithely went about doing school as if it was the normal and right thing to do when on day two Matt found me wandering around in a glassy eyed stupor trying to coordinate between my right and left hand not to drop a massive vat of coffee on the kitchen floor believing, wrongly, that if a little bit of caffeine is helpful, a great deal more must be of The Lord.

 "What are you doing?" He asked me, since I guess an ordinary person couldn't immediately divine what I was attempting to achieve.

"I'm doing school," I slurred.

"Why?"

"Well, the main reason is that the children seem exceptionally stupid. But also, it says I should on the calendar. If you look at the calendar, it says it's January, and we're supposed to do school in January."

"Why don't you start next week and just go out for the afternoon?" He said. Like it was an obvious choice that I had considered but decided against when actually it was something that had never occurred to me in the whole course of my existence.

So I did. And it was marvelous.

two

So we started in earnest this week. And would you believe, a few days down made such a difference. Feel stupid for having to say it out loud. But there you are. You go along thinking that you're all that, that you can do whatever you want, and do all the work in the world, and then one tiny little holiday brings you to your knees in realization that you're a weak pathetic person who also must sleep and eat food. 

Also, miraculously, I carefully examined my plan and we should be able to finish just on time, if we really work hard. So you can see the fatal flaw almost immediately because who in their right mind wants to work hard. No one that I have given birth to. I feel like St. Paul, threatening, admonishing, berating even with tears to snatch them out of the jaws of judgement.

three

The only people who want to work hard are those who need constant help to do anything. Gladys and Marigold just want to Learn Something! Anything! Whereas those that can do quite a lot on their own just want to lie on the floor and whine and play with Legos. That was the first day. The second day was slightly better and then yesterday was almost sane. Someone even asked a question to obtain knowledge about something they didn't already know. 

four

Foolishly, I decided that Elphine and Alouicious are old enough to make lunch. Elphine for a week and the Alouicious. I don't know what I was thinking. Alouicious made soup from a packet yesterday (we'll start small, I thought) and besides coming in to ask me every tiny question because even though he was able to read the instructions he couldn't believe that they were true, he strewed soup all up and down the kitchen as if he was some sort of barbarian Hun cook coming to destroy civilization with noodles and synthetic seasoning. And then he was exhausted from the effort and couldn't cope with the idea of cleaning up so he just didn't and Matt walked in at the end of his long day and had  to crunch his way across the floor seeking out a broom. 

five

I make it sound like it's all a chore. There are myriad irritations as with everything in life. But they are basically small. I nurtured a glimmer of hope as I sat curled up next to heater toiling with each child through the most basic elements of language and numbers. It may be that they will learn and grow into reasonable people. I fail so much but I may not completely fail. It's the tiny seed of hope and the thin rays of sunshine into the school room that kept me sitting there until my voice was gone each day.

six 

Nevertheless, when I woke this morning to the sound of Alouicious fussing and fussing and fussing and fussing about not being able to find his iPod even though he had carefully plugged it in last night as part of his preparation for Men's Bible Study and so someone must have come during the night and stollen it and how could he possibly be expected to read the bible from something like a book!..I prayed earnestly that he would get himself out the door and leave me with two hours of peace. Well, one hour because the little girls wake up at seven now (not 6:30 anymore!) and they always come in shouting.

seven 

But it's Friday, and so we only have to finish a little list of things we didn't get to and then go play at church for the afternoon. This is our ordinary and life giving rhythm. May it carry me all the way through February and March, those two worst months of the homeschool year. May we emerge on the other side smarter and holier than we are today.

7 quick takes

one

One reason I like a few quick takes on a Friday is that it buys me 20 minutes to think of food for the children for breakfast. And at the end of writing, I always discover that they'll just be eating toast because that's the way it is.

two

Solomon, in my bible reading just now, consecrated his new and majestic temple, and as you know, he prayed that when the people sin and are expelled out of the land, God should have mercy on them for the sake of his name. From which passage I flipped over to Romans 7 and the cycle of sin and death and frustration that is at least some part of the Christian life. As usual, I would never have read these two back to back except that that's the way they came up and I'm surprised, as I am every morning because I'm stupid, by how much it's always the same thing. I think, in the course of praying of working or whatever, that maybe I'm advancing into a wonderment of glorious spiritual depth and enlightenment, but then I beat my way through the day and discover that I sinned all the same sins I did before and that a lot of the Christian Life is trying to get rid of the same sin over and over and over again. For example, I quickly, almost every day in fact, spiral down in a cycle of fake guilt that I create for myself by comparing my house to the houses of other people. I read some beautiful blogs where the house and homeschool room looks gorgeous and clean and pristine and clearly the blogger is going from strength to strength and beauty to beauty, and then I go read good sensible blogs where the rooms and the writing are comfortable and real. And then I look around at my life and feel Guilty for not cleaning the house AND Guilty for cleaning it.

"That's definitely the Holy Spirit," said Matt yesterday when I described my cycle of death to him.

"Really?" I said woefully and gullibly.

"No, you fool," he said, "what kind of God are you trying to serve."

Well, clearly the god who will congratulate me on all my doings. But that god really hates me and so I should stop doing that and serve the God who gives a way out of the cycle of death, as Paul so helpfully articulated in his letter.

three

Please don't worry about my mental health based on take number two and send me emails about what I ought to do to make it better. If you're worried about my sanity start a blog where you take pictures of how awful your house looks at the end of a real day and then I'll link you on the side.

four 

Gladys finished her big book of letters and gets to start reading Little Bear today. So Exciting! 

Also, for the first time in her life, Elphine found a book that she couldn't put down, read it all the way through, has to go back to the library This Second for the next one. PRAISE THE LORD. All this time she's been reading books like I clean the house--dutifully, happy for the sense of accomplishment and satisfaction, but not for love. Color me relieved.

five

My mom and dad get back this evening from their Visit to the West. I'm so happy the mum in the back bloomed yesterday so they can have flowers all over their room. May all their flights be safe and swift. May that be the case for anyone traveling today for any reason.

six

The children have decided they're all going to be ninjas for Halloween. I managed to find six ninja-like costumes for about 40$ which I count as an extraordinary triumph. The two little girls look really funny dressed up all in black with their heads and mouths all tied up in the mask part. Elphine fussed with hers for what seemed like hours trying to make herself truly into a ninja. Now I want them to practice ninja like moves so I can play that Adele song with the ninja in it. I long to fill a room with glasses of water and then throw bits of flaming paper around. Srsly, rather than cleaning the house again today it sounds like a dream and a joy. But impractical, I totally get that it's impractical, so I guess we won't do it. Sob.

seven

Arguing with Fatty Lumpkin this very minute about who this is. She believes strongly that it must be Marigold and cannot possibly be "my E", her words not mine. It occurred to me yesterday that all I do is talk about Fatty Lumpkin and take pictures of her but we spend So Much Time Together. You know, you write about what there is, and that's what there is, almost every second of the day.

7 quick takes

one
I started waking up half an hour earlier this week in the effort to have one half hour without the babies down my throat. I love them, obviously, but there isn't one moment of any day that I'm not holding one or talking to one or taking something away from one. So I thought, maybe if I start the day with a half an hour of quiet, I'll love them even more than I do already. Miraculously, though, after the first quiet morning, they figured out, perhaps through telepathy, that I was awake and readjusted their arising to mine yet again. So this week we have had the usual squall, beating me and each other as we all lie in bed together, shouting and pulling hair and generally doing that mixed marshal arts routine. After the initial 'lie in' they get up and roam around, covering themselves with bandaids, eating all the bananas, taking advantage of Alouicious' spaceball bat that he always leaves lying about. Then we all have a shower together and get dressed. And then they drape themselves over my back while I try to do school with the rest of the crew...for the rest off the day...until nine o'clock when they are finally wrestled into bed...even though they're not really napping any more...this sentence doesn't really have an end.
two
I did mean to say Spaceball. Alouicious is playing on a Little League team this 'spring' and every time he goes to get in the car for practice, Marigold flings herself on the floor and screams to be allowed to go to Spaceball Practice too. It's one of the three or four things that brings joy to the marathon that is Little League. The others include the good chocolate from Aldi on the way out to his practice (which is a Very Long Way Away), the fact that he's so happy about the whole enterprise, and the fact that no one can any longer accuse me of not doing anything fun. I'll be able to look back on this golden time when they're whining and crying and say, 'No No! Remember! Alouicious got to play baseball in the spring of 2013!'

three
I shouldn't have put spring in scare quotes. My tulips are finally blooming and I've been able to walk outside all week and the children, with coats on, have been able to eat lunch in the patch of sun out the back door.
four
My walk outside includes going up one light hill, down one side and then back up another and then home, a sort of undulating loop. Yesterday I had to carry my fat dog up the first slight hill because he sat down at the bottom and glared at me so that I was finally pulling him along on his derrière by the leash. But the person on the opposite walk was giving me a suspicious look so I picked him up and lugged him up the hill. Stupid dog. Every day when he sees its time for a walk he tries to go in the backyard and hide from me.
five
Matt has been spending his spare time trying to calculate how many acres of wheat it would take to feed a family of eight and where to buy a scythe. The last time we went through this I think it was potatoes. And he's been muttering to himself about goats and chickens. Just a heads up to the church.
six
I just want to grow a full yard of tomatoes and flowers and skip everything else. And I'd like a forsythia bush and a flowering cherry tree and some tall cypress trees growing up the wall of the church. But I don't really have time so tralala.
seven
Really grateful for every day that life is quiet, dull even. The wide world is so full of heartbreak and woe and drama. Every day we quietly go about our duty is a day of real joy for me and a treasure to my brood. So strange to me how happy they are. I seem to remember crying through much of my tenth year. Elphine, on the other hand, only cried recently because she caught herself in the eye with a piece of paper. Where is her deep well of sorrow and grief? Maybe growing up without excitement and adventure and travel is ok. We all wrote a paragraph together this week about living next to the church. It is my parting weekend gift to you. Go check out Jen!

We live next to the church. On Sundays we go and ate cookies and doghnuts. Living so close is convenient because our dad is the pastor. Many people come to visit is because of our close proximity*. We love living here as the Church of the Good Shepherd lies heavy upon us**.

*This was a collaborative effort with me insisting in the the word 'proximity'. I couldn't let it go which I now see is sort of ridiculous.
**This last sentence is all Gladys. I don't know. I know she's only five but sheesh.

7 quick takes, maybe

one
I'm sitting in front of the computer watching a live stream of local Boston news waiting for them all to find the second Boston bomber. The babies are crashing around shouting at each other. Everyone else is asleep, except Matt and Alouicious who are at Bible Study. The anchorette is trying to figure out what would happen to send these two young men over the edge to commit such a desperate act. Seemed like the man next to her wanted to gently tell her not to be stupid, but instead he changed the subject. He's probably married, sensible man.
two
We have watched coverage of this on and off all week and never once have any of the children asked how or why such a terrible thing could happen. Did read the long Auntie Leila post which was very good to tuck away and have on hand. So far there is no real confusion about evil in this house. We know that evil resides in all our own hearts, let alone other people's, and it takes the cross and Jesus to get rid of it. So none of us wonder how such terrible things could happen. But also, they all have the attention span of a flea.
three
Knowing that human beings are sinful is such a restful blessing, don't you think. There's never a reason to cry out to your child as she is sprinkling a whole gallon of sugar all over the kitchen and school room floor, and inside your slippers, 'Why are you doing that!?' Or 'What would possess you to touch the sugar when you've been told thirty times not to!?' Carrying around the idea of a good and righteous human person besides Jesus is too big a burden for me to lug around.
four
On the side of good, though, Fatty Lumpkin has taught her own self the use of the loo. No one wanted to cope with this idea right now, but she seems generally self directed, so there you are. That is my 'potty training' advice. Don't bother with it, it's too much trouble. Just have children who will eventually get fed up enough to figure it out on their own.
five
She is very pleased with herself. She is also trying to keep up with all the talking and language going on around here. She can say ' I don't want it!' and 'mine!' and 'Oh No!' and 'sorry' after sinking her sharp teeth into your upper fleshy arm. Marigold, on the other hand, is learning the glorious art of manipulation, 'I just want to be with you today, Mommy,' she said on Sunday, her eyes wide, her fake smile fixed. Yesterday she came in and announced 'Baby is pouring sugar on my own daddy's floor.' Then she said, 'Let's take my own dog for a walk now Mommy.'
six
I can't believe how the week got away from me. It was one of those spin around in a circle accomplishing nothing kinds of weeks. Are we supposed to go forward in a line towards something? I hope not.
seven
Alouicious did turn nine last Sunday. He got his birthday prayer and sticker at church and then had lots of friends over after for pork and crepes and salad and then cake. It's hard to believe he's that old. I suppose by the end of the year he and Elphine will both be taller than me. Stupid children, growing up.
Have a great weekend and pray for Jen and her family!

7 quick takes: church

one
I happen to be reading Exodus and Romans at the same time--not a bad combination. Boy I really do feel for Moses. His whole life sounds like one endless dinner hour with cranky kids. Yesterday my kids decided not to really eat their lunch and so by dinner the cry was, 'I'm dying!' Except that then when the dinner was served (my week at Shepherd's Bowl so lentil curry a la kennedy) they found they were really only hungry for the bread and cookie and I was suddenly entangled in three or four whiny and complicated negotiations. After a while I did really feel like shaking my fist at the heavens and saying, 'why have you given me this ungrateful people....' On another partially related note, I'm deeply interested in the idea of an Egyptian Meat Pot. It sounds delicious.
two
I had thought I would be laboring over my curry kennedy with a numb and painful mouth but in a happy twist I was sent away from the dentist with a powerful antibiotic and arrangements to try again next week. Wanted to ask the dentist if she was at all concerned by the terrifying super bacterias coming along and What Would We All Do Then, ha ha, but just kept a lid on it and said thank you.
three
As the afternoon wore away and the curry melded in to the onion, garlic, peppers, sweet potato, lentils, chickpeas etc. I glanced at my phone and discovered that this relationship is finally over. So grateful. Evil, don't you know, always seems to over step. Really, John Crosson is the outside limit. So grateful.
four
Have also been reading lots of catholic blogs trying to discover if this new pope will be A Good Thing. Can't really tell yet. Boy some people are already really upset. On the other hand it is so great that he looks so much like the new ABC...and Woody Allen.
five
It's nearly Holy Week. Did you know? Have you been making plans? Yeah, me neither.
six
Matt thought he'd be at the passion in Mark by now (in church, he's preaching through Mark). Isn't that funny? Funny funny funny. Srsly, if you are struggling to love the bible or had the book of Mark destroyed for you in seminary, I can't recommend enough his whole series so far. Week by week he unfolds the scripture and brings the person of Jesus into such clear focus. If you have nothing else to do in Holy Week you could lie flat on top of a lot of sicko John Crosson/Jesus Seminar books and listen to Matt preach and be healed of all your various infirmities. For, as Alouicious noted earlier, 'preaching heals the greatest wound, which is not knowing Jesus.'
seven
Don't you just love church? I think I love Holy Week so much because there's just so much church. So much preaching, so much liturgy, so many times to set up the altar, so many things to veil, so many details, so many extra days to see people. In my wildest deems, if you had asked in high school or college what I wanted to do if I could do anything in the whole world, I would have thought (though not said it out loud, because that would have been freaky) 'I want to be in church.' See God can be nice, sometimes.

7 quick takes

Well, here it is. Friday. And I haven't blogged or done much of anything interesting except
one
cope with the laundry room. I mean, really really deal with actually doing the laundry, folding the clothes and putting stuff in bins that's just in the way.
two
Start to make sour dough bread again but this time fail so much as to actually end up throwing it away.
three
Take three days off from school for six children to have the stomach bug. One after another all the way down the line.
four
Obsessively read the Internet as disfunction in the anglican communion hots up again.
five
Get out the blender and make smoothies for the first time in ten years trying to tempt a lot of pallid and emaciated children to swallow something.
six
Watch another 80s movie with Matt.
seven
Walk up the hill behind the house in between weather onslaughts and find myself thereafter bathing and cutting all the hair off my dog for reasons too vile to write down or remember later.

Have a great weekend and go check out Jen!

seven quick takes

one
Woke up in this last hour worried about my parent's cat who was horribly injured this week by a big dog. At last report he had a fifty fifty chance of making it. He's a good Christian cat named after and blessed on the feast day of St Frances and so I hope you'll all pray for him.
two
Our first week back at serious school did, in fact, occur which is a glorious triumph when considered in the whole scope of human affairs and not taken by itself in its own isolated sliver of reality (can you tell that I'm writing this at four in the morning?). After the initial shock, particularly on the part of Alouicious, they all managed to all calm down, stop the infernal screaming, and do a tiny bit of work. The best and most exasperating part of the week was struggling to satiate little 'nonverbal' Marigold's new and sudden desire to try to learn to read. Basically, it's not really her turn and she should go pour cups of water back and forth in the sink. But the all out brawl--lying on the floor screaming and sobbing and heaving when I said she had to wait a minute to practice letters--has made me rethink the order of my life. I'm delighted, of course. And also, I'm pretty sure I'm going to loose my mind.
three
If you are casting about for an order in which to read the bible in 2013 (because, like me, it takes you a week or two to realize that the old really has gone away and the new is jamming itself down your throat) I really recommend reading it in chronological order. Hat tip, several years ago, to Homemaking Through the Church Year, who recommended it so highly. I join her in this recommendation. And because, in 2012, I was constantly behind I was always listening to vast swaths of scripture at one go, like, the whole book of Ezekiel, or all the Pauline Epistles. And then finally, the whole book of Revelation, which remarkably (and I assume you know this already because you're smarter than me) recapitulates the totality of scripture in this vast cosmic intense way like when, in The Last Battle, all the Sons and Daughters of Adam and Eve keep coming on old familiar landscapes which are, somehow, made new and rich and satisfying again. Just as there are so many pictures of Jesus in the Old Testament, the Book of Revelation is chockablock full of everything before it. Seems stupid to write it out loud when I've 'known' that before. But I saw it in a new and richer way and it was wonderful.
four
As I was trying to spell the word 'recapitulate' just now Matt went out to unlock the church for the men's breakfast and came in with the mail from yesterday. How is it that we didn't even have time to check our own box attached to our own house for our own mail? I don't know, I didn't have a free second yesterday except to eat a piece of cheesecake alone in the church kitchen for breakfast because I didn't have the intelligence to eat something at home before hauling all the kids and all their school work over there....where was I? Oh Yes! Matt just now plunked the mail on me which comprised a lovely Christmas card from England and a package from Nairobi by way of NJ which, when I cut it open gave up a plume of gorgeous turmeric. It smells amazing and is all settled all over everything in glorious richness. Thank you mommy! Cooking tonight will be more than usually enchanting.
five
Matt maligns my love of ordinary curry powder but, since I'm already wildly recommending stuff, let me just impress upon you the heavenly delight that occurs when you lather ordinary little bits of tilapia with olive oil, salt, and curry powder which you then bake at 350 for ten minutes or so, depending on the thickness of the fish, while you sauté an onion, a garlic, some green and red pepper, a handful of frozen peas and a handful of corn also liberally adorned with curry powder and then pile it all over the fish and back in the oven until the fish itself flakes white and perfect. And then your babies, who don't know any better, gather it in like the Wide Mouth Frog and also go ahead and help themselves to more of everything.
six
Which brings to my mind that long ago moment when my own mother, who has a brilliant way with fish, accidentally breaded fish very much like tilapia in cake crumbs instead if bread crumbs. The result was so surprising I can taste it now, as I write this, and see the expression on her face, and the horror in her eyes, at the first bite.
seven
There's a baby up. That's too bad. She is shouting and rearranging the pillows and making a wreck of everything. I guess I'll get up and do some stuff. Amongst them continuing to pray for that poor cat, and for Jen of Conversion Diary who, though doing better, needs lots and lots of prayer.

unlinked, unhinged 7 quick takes

one
My computer cord seems to be taking its last dying breath and I am in the last ten minutes of the battery charge. So it may be that this will by my last blog gasp before Christmas. WHAT A HORRIBLE THOUGHT.
two
The children are supposed to be running around picking up "quickly" so as to be able to go hear a friend in a concert tonight. But instead of that, it seems they are cleaning up a massive spill of water on the kitchen floor. No one can explain to me how there is so much water.
three
I haven't been able to post pictures on this, my tiny stupid blog, and I have been so enraged I have not been able to bring myself even to look at my own page. Rage. Anger. Don't know whether to pay money to stupid blogger so as to be able to post pictures or chuck it all and start a new blog on a new platform. Advice? Counsel? Opinions?
four
shock. I'm not ready for Christmas. I thought I was, but then I looked around and realized I'm Not At All. So am sitting here in my bed thinking of maybe going on a holiday from reality.
five
Am more and more a proponent of quick public just execution. Who's with me? Or at least with me to pray for these families. Lord Have Mercy. And mercy for Mali, where its just getting worse and worse and worse.
six
In light of the maybe no picture no blogging thing, Follow me on Instagram! and friend me on Facebook. I would find the links but I'm seriously on my last minutes.
seven
I guess God wants me to go look at the massive puddle of water. There goes my charge! pip pip, sob

quick takes

one

Matt just sent me this and I thought, 'what a gem'. So here it is.

We go in for baptismal cake at COGS so its nice it features so prominently here. Cough.

two

This is funny, of course, because Matt happened to fly out to Colorado to baptize an extraordinarily beautiful (his words) baby on Wednesday. And he came back with a lot of Real Tea and some Real Digestive Biscuits because the parents of the baby normally live in England.

three

So we were without Matt for a day. He had a calm time flying around the country writing his sermon whereas I played a lot of loud music so I couldn't hear the children and did mounds and piles of laundry and prayed that he would come back safely. The children pushed very hard to let me sleep first in my bed and then in the living room, both of which I strenuously resisted. I did finally sit down and watch Nanny McPhee with them, as Elphine had been only mentioning it three or four times a day since she borrowed it from her friend. On the whole funny in a tragic sort of way. Wish I could bang a stick on the ground and have the children fixed in their beds. And I felt for little Simon always having to get everyone out of whatever pickle. Still, I suppose its too much to expect to have more than one intelligent child in a big bunch like that. cough.

four

Yesterday for Shepherd's Bowl I made Kale Bean and Sausage Soup. I went rather heavy on the sausage which turned out to be a touch more "spicy" than I bargained for and so my one pot of soup turned into two as I tried to dilute it. Then I finally added a third smaller pot with a very bland sausage, hoping that children wouldn't scream about it being hot and scare their parents. One whole pot is left, so if you're in Binghamton and are you're starving around 12:30 on Sunday, come to COGS and have a bowl. IT'S NOT SPICY, I tell you, IT'S PERFECTLY FINE.

five

Fatty Lumpkin has taken it into her head to, as we so indelicately say, "use the potty", blech. She seems to have it figured out, warning us and everything, which is more than can be said for us remembering and having it in our minds that This Is Going On. Someone, a long time ago, asked me about Potty Training and I've thought about, at length, what Answer I might give for the hope that deep within me lies. And I think my answer is, "I have no idea." We go in heavily for panic and rage but I hear other people have systems and consistency and stuff.

six

Matt and I have been going back and forth about which direction to go for Thanksgiving, in terms of food, that is. I mean, we're not going anywhere. Where was I. Oh yes. Sundays have been a real pleasure this year with every week a vast cut of pork, a large salad, sometimes a loaf of bread, sometimes a pot of rice. That's it. No fuss. So easy. In Matt's mind this is how Thanksgiving will be. Easy. On the table. There it is. And yet, as we all know, that's not how it shakes out. There is the Turkey and the Bread and two kinds of Potato and Brussel Sprouts and Asparagus and Green Beans and Two Kinds of Pie...I feel like I've forgotten a few things. They all have to be prepped and cooked and on the table at the same time. And then all the dishes washed. Somehow, this year, I need to just give myself over to the whole enterprise. Just "live into the moment" as it were. Whatever.

seven

And now we are going to race around and get ready for Matt's Parents who are on their way as I type. All of us are so excited its hard to concentrate and remember how to do anything.
Go check out Jen!

quick takes

one
Just finished the Old Testament, in record time too, six months. Had hoped to perfectly time starting the New Testament with Advent, but also wanted to finish it by January, which would have made for a more than usually crazy December. And it would be bad to take an entire month off of something like Reading The Bible. So I guess I'm going to plow on, even though it doesn't line up perfectly. After reading Malachi, expecting my daily readings to line up perfectly is a shade too much like bringing my blind bull to the altar. It means all the flock in my own cupboard is pristine and God again gets the short shrift. Or something.
two
I'm trying to write while the baby holds my ring finger. When I try to gently move her over to accommodate my laptop she lets out a piercing shriek and presses her heavy head on my chest and lets real tears fall. Which, shockingly, stop the second I stop typing. Throughout the day I have to lug her around everywhere while she shouts directions and screams at everyone. Well, as I type this, I can see that 'have to' is a touch too strong. I've been manipulated into lugging her around and now we're both in the habit. She has basically, as Marigold did, managed to get everyone to do everything for her, only she, the Baby, is willing to use language where Marigold was not.
three
Having moved all the toys up in case of flooding, and all the outside furniture in in case of it being blown away, two major sections of the house continue to be Off Limits.So here we all are, altogether in the kitchen and then altogether in the living room and then altogether in my room, all of us together. And why would a single one of us want to be separated from all the others for even one tiny second?
"Mommy," whined Elphine yesterday as Romulus accidentally kicked her in the head, "Can't they go downstairs? I can't get anything done."
"No, my sweet," I said, 'they could get into terrible mischief, so we will just have to cope."
four
Every morning I go in to the living room and I find the Fancy Russian Nesting Dolls in some kind of new arrangement. Here, I think, they are all dancing. You can't really see but the Swedish Horses are also careful proximity to each other.

And here they seem to be all lined up paying homage to the photograph of Elphine in her Aunt's Coronation Dress. I'm not sure why the little basket/bowl is turned upside down.

Sometimes I find the dolls carefully lined up by height around the coffee table, or arranged all over the room on different bookshelves, or each with a tiny tea cup placed respectfully in front of each one.
five
We've nearly totally memorized John 3:1-17 in an exaggerated and lilting way.
'Now there was a MAN of the PHARISEES named NICODEMUS, A Ruler Of the Jews! This Man came to Jesus by NIGHT and SAID to HIM.....etc. So we were thinking about what next to memorize and the consensus was Numbers 21: 4-9 since that's what Jesus is referencing in John. It hadn't been exactly what I had in mind, but I'm willing to go with the preference of the group. Much discussion was had about whether it was possible to be bit over and over again by a fiery serpent or if looking up at the serpent on the pole once was sufficient for all time. Theology aside, Alouicious thought it would be awesome to be bitten with impunity. He acted it out and we wasted another ten minutes laughing at the craziness of it all. hardy har har.
six
Also, the Word of the Day two days ago, for those of you who were longing to know, was Lily-livered. Usually the Word of the Day is kind of a drag and impossible to use in a sentence if you're only five years old, but this one was really good and easy, heh, to think of examples of Other People who display this character flaw. Gladys always has the same sentence and puts every single Word of the Day word into it.
"The girl had an ice-cream and then her brother came and knocked it over and she was so ______" insert Word of the Day (words like Beatitude, Uncanny, Catachresis, Fracas, Heliotrope). But on this day we got her to consider rearranging the words in her sentence so that she was able to have "The girl had an ice-cream and then her lily-livered brother came and knocked it over."
As a point of clarification, this sentence was assembled by Gladys and was not influenced by any other party and no one knows of a real life occasion of any such thing ocurring.
seven
Look, I got through six takes without mentioning the election one time. And so, instead of mentioning it, I'm going to go make breakfast. Have a lovely weekend and go check out Jen!

seven quick takes

one

We seem to be getting up later and later in the mornings, one because of the cold, and two because we keep not sleeping. Elphine broke the plug on the laptop she hauls into her cubby every night and so we were confronted not with throw up or bad dreams but an inconsolable ten year old who couldn't go to sleep and who, at 3am clumped down to try to sleep on the couch. Her not sleeping produced not sleeping in Marigold who screamed from ten to eleven in some kind of rage. "She won't let me turn off the light," complained Elphine.
"What is she? In charge of this room? She's not three yet. You're ten. You don't have to do what she says." This seemed a totally novel idea and I have no idea if it will go on to impact our future life together.

two

Wednesday was Good Shepherd's 112th Harvest Dinner. I sometimes wonder what our children would be like without this dinner. It really defines who they are as people--the acquiring of vast plates of food with no reference to me, the pie, the juice, the army of friends to careen around the church with. Three or four ladies were shocked to find me Not Pregnant. Laughed with them about how crazy it all is.

three

The Harvest Dinner and then it being our Shepherd's Bowl week totally ruined our school life. Last night, while not sleeping, took a dismal and irrational look at my ability to succeed in life and discovered myself to have failed at everything. Finally read news headlines to make myself feel better. I mean, at least I'm not Brittany Spears. So there's that.

four

Or Honey Boo Boo. Whatever that counts for. If yo don't think we're in serious civilizational decline, meditate on the phenomenon of Honey Boo Boo and the ubiquitous nature of the Styrofoam coffee cup and start saving for that generator after all.

five

Maybe feeling more apocalyptic than usual because I just finished Ezekiel and Daniel this week. Can't read Daniel seriously because of The Theatrical Tapes of Leonard Thynn. And also, was so distracted during Ezekiel that came away feeling the book was sort of a mess. Obviously need to go back over it with a concentrated mind.

six

Wish Matt would preach through Ezekiel.  But he wants to preach through the New Testament before he dies, so he really doesn't have time to take on Ezekiel. Although we're finally going at a break neck speed through Mark--20 verses last Sunday, 20 or so this Sunday. Probably only another year and a half in Mark.

seven

I will say, Sunday after Sunday, I'm so grateful to be married to a man whose preaching I enjoy. In boarding school all the staff took turns preaching and on particularly bad days I would watch the wife of the foundering preacher and wonder what kind of encouraging and helpful feedback she could possibly offer. Would imagine all sorts of possible conversations. I'm such a bad person.

And on that note, I guess I'll brave this rain laden day and see about breakfast. Have a lovely weekend and don't forget to check out Jen!

some takes or whatever

One

Gladys overate and threw up at 3am Wednesday going into Thursday. She came down shouting and hysterical, convinced that she was deathly ill. None of us slept for the rest of the night. Discovered that I can no longer be sleep deprived. It just can't happen. Everyone needs to sleep through the night, no exceptions, not even for being sick.

Two

As I struggled up to cope with the vomit, I discovered that Elphine has moved all her bedding into the cubbyhole in the wall. She's set herself up with blankets, pillows, stuffed animals, and a laptop with The Story of the World on iTunes.

Three

Gladys turns five on Monday. She is turning out to be a complicated little person. She is very fussy about what she wears. She's very fussy about how and under what conditions she can engage in school work. She is very fussy about which spoon she has with her tea in the morning. She is very fussy about how her pony tails are when she has pony tails, or her bun is when she has a bun. She likes her ham sandwich with just ham and cheese and not butter. If you accidentally butter the bread, everything turns out badly. She plans to be a butterfly for Halloween but I think something a little edgier would be more in keeping her with her soul. Not that I have anything in mind.

Four

I shouldn't be blogging. I should be writing my Quarterly Reports pour le gouvernement. Am I  already at the end of the first quarter? Wow. That's what comes of starting in August. Seems we've done a lot of work all these weeks. What a deep eand profound thought.

Five

Should have written them last night instead of watching the VP Debate. Couldn't look at the screen anyway, what with Biden giggling and laughing and talking over everyone. So weird. All the pundits afterward speculating about what The American People want and like just capped the whole unpleasant experience off. Wished I had the evening back as I struggled the baby back into bed. She joined us half way through, chewing on pepperoni circles and spitting them onto the floor like we were in some second rate bar.

Six

It appears to be raining again. Explained to Matt on Wednesday, a day it also rained, how grateful I was that we got out to pick apples on Tuesday. We picked the last apples off the trees at a nice farm with a playground and an amazing view and there was no rain, only sun, and we also managed to get a pumpkin.
"Ew" he said, "I hate it when the sun shines in fall. It should be gray and raining, otherwise there's no point."
How can anyone possibly think this?!?

Seven

I have pictures of the apple picking, and of a pork cabbage stew I concocted this week, and of the dog stuck in the couch but they will have to be for another day. Now, blast it all, I'm going to go write those quarterlys. Go check out Jen!

quick quick takes

one

I have now gotten the drift, what with being really slow on the technological end of things, that blogger has been acquired by Google and its name will be changing along with lots of other things--like the format and look of everything. I know this is just one more sign of the end of all things, but in the meantime, am feeling anxious about my little blog. Read some random techy blog that said, 'if you are a serious blogger (Cough) you should own your own...' can't remember the word...platform? website? I guess if I can't be bothered to remember the lingo, I don't deserve to really freak out.

two

And also, since I downloaded (or whatever its called) the update on my awesome phone (worrying, of course, that this would be the update that obliterated the coolness of my phone because of Apple winning everything in the world) I've been obsessed with the amazing voice search thingamabob. "What do you want to know?" I keep hassling Matt.
"I don't know" he says, "whatever."
"Nightlife in Binghamton" I speak authoritatively into my phone. And then Google perfectly hears my voice and comes up with a total of 5 things going on in Binghamton, this very night. Except that, shock to all our souls, none of them look interesting.
Really wish I was smart enough to think of more things to inquire of Google. Maybe my blog will be ok after all.

three

Honestly, the distraction of technology fully explains to me why so many westerners are completely uninterested in God. What I don't understand is the atheist who also refuses to own an amazing phone or a fantastic computer or tablet or something. If you don't have Google or Apple giving you meaning in life, and you don't have God, honestly, what do you have?

four

I suppose you could live vicariously through your children. But that wouldn't have worked out for me this week. Suffered a week of complete and total annoyance from every single one of them. Not a single one escaped standing on my nerves in a regular and exasperating way. Yesterday however, after staying up way way way too late watching the debate and all the spin afterwards, sat down in the school room with a vat of coffee and played solitaire while the children did school. Should have thought of it earlier. I was there, letting the boring boring conversation waft over me, and yet, I was also awake because of the solitaire.

five

What an amazing debate! As so many have noted, to get through ninety minutes without leaving the room even one time in mortification and embarrassment, What A Gift! Was astonished to read a long article on NRO about how Romney actually prepared. Wow. (You might think I'm being sarcastic but you would be terribly wrong. Never have I been more sincere.)

six

But also dreading getting through all the rest of the debates this month. As if we didn't have anything else going on, like three birthdays, the Harvest Dinner, and Halloween....gak. Elphine wants to be a Warrioress (her word) and wear a long red dress with chain-mail over the front. Gladys wants to be a butterfly. Romulus wants to be Captain America. He purchased the shield himself and then, ever the defender of freedom and the American Way, threw it really hard expecting to destroy some kind of bad guy. Tragically, he missed the evil villain and struck Glady's face by mistake (or so I was told in the appalling aftermath). Her little eye is purple and black and yellow and some other shades of pain.

seven

And now, I hope you'll go check out Jen because it sounds like I have to break up a brawl downstairs and after that I need finish making some little party food and wrap a present for a lovely baby shower and then vacuum so that I won't be mortified when my friend comes this afternoon and also make the children do their school and clear off my desk and finish gathering Sunday School lessons together and change laundry over and pick out Sunday Clothes and take a walk, probably, and what was that other thing? Oh Yes! Finish my sermon. As a birthday present to Matt, I'm preaching on the Demoniac in Mark for him. Been thinking of all kinds of great jokes. Maybe you could add to them here. Have a lovely weekend!

a week gone quickly by

one

Besides the obvious reason of being too busy to carry on with a blog, the real reason I haven't been posting that much is because I've been watching and reading the news with horrified addiction. Not only is the situation in Mali not terribly awesome, but the insanity of whatever 'foreign policy' emanating from this administration is riveting, in a terrifying sort of way. Spent ten minutes in the back yard this week trying to mentally calculate how many potatoes we could grow if we had to, even though we don't really eat potatoes, but the math eventually proved to be too much for me.

two

But we took a break from school and world affairs yesterday to go see the local opera's production of Jack and the Beanstalk. They go round to all the schools and then offer a free showing to homeschoolers. How lovely is that? My own children were philistine in their response, "Are we getting ice cream?" when it was all over. (Ice Cream? What am I? The Easter Bunny? No there's no Ice Cream.) I had a good time, though, so nobody need worry.

three

And then on the way home my very good friend enabled me to buy a desk sitting by the side of the road by walking all the children to a park so that I would be able to shove the desk into my car before someone else came and tried to take it.
"How much did you pay?" inquired Matt with arched eyebrows as he helped me muscle it into the garage.
"Not very much, and look! Its so beautiful!"
"Its not that beautiful. It needs to be glued."
"Just a little glue and then it will be perfect!"
"Whatever," he said, hoping I would go away so he could keep working.

four

So I rushed off to collect the children from my friend who was much taken aback by Glady's rendition of a small psychotically demented pony.
"Watch" she said pushing Gladys higher and higher, "she does this weird thing."
"Oh that," I said when she finally did it again, "that sound can really cut through the back of your skull."

five

So I gathered them away and spent the afternoon cooking for Shepherd's Bowl at church. I realize, of course, that by blogging about it, I'm loosing any merit I might have accrued in engaging in such a selfless act, but who are we really kidding? My martyr and piety points are always completely eviscerated every evening when I tell Matt what I really thought about everything.

I made a vast pot of potato curry stew with chicken, broccoli, carrots, corn and peas. And I had a very good time doing it. The stove at church is so fine--squat and black and smoldering--and there's a sharp sharp knife which makes all the difference.

six

Oh, and I shouldn't go much farther without exclaiming over the half of a pig we've come into. Half a fat fat pig with fat all over. And in another month arrives the bacon and hams. Another very good friend's eyes became misty as she surveyed the arrival of this pig (brought over by other very good friends--can I just say, the number of friends busting out of this place is a surprise to me, given, as I always am, to muttering to myself "Can anything good come out of Binghamton?" And now, if that other very good friend who's thinking about leaving Binghamton would think just a little harder and decide not to do it, my happiness would be complete.) "Where can I get a pig like this?" she wanted to know. Which led necessarily to talk of eventually procuring a cow and all that sort of thing.

seven

Gladys is really internalizing Morning Prayer. She walks around singing all the time now, "Let the hope of the poor be taken away! Let the hope of the poor be taken away! Let the hope of the poor be taken away! Hey!"

Have a lovely weekend and go check out Jen!
seven

7 quick takes

one

I can hear the babies stirring the dog water with spoons. I'm pretty sure they have put all the food from his bowl into the water. I could get up and freak out. On  the other hand, I can hear where they are. So if I freak out they will just go do something worse, probably.

two

Emily asked how we deal with whining and I've been wandering around the last two days thinking about what we do. Clearly, whatever we're doing works only part of the time or I wouldn't be using the word 'whine' as often as I do. It is like battling down the Assyrians. You may have them off your back for a few minutes but the second you think you can relax, there they are again.

So what are some things that have worked? It entirely depends on the child.
Elphine doesn't whine, much, so that's a great help.

So far Gladys doesn't whine either. She does have a high pitched mosquito voice but that's only because no one really listens to her. You can usually get her to stop screaming by pressing on her head and making her say it slowly. Usually she just wants to tell you that she needs another band-aid.
Romulus goes down at the end of his sentences, in a charmingly authoritative, though unacceptable way and so it doesn't sound like whining. When you tell him to stop, he nods his head and widens his eyes and stops, for a tiny minute.


So it really comes down to Alouicious, who is a preeminent whiner, and Marigold.
Marigold, for the moment, just has to be given a fried egg when she starts whining. She is usually too busy to eat and so when she starts to do this horrible dying cow moan, its time to fry an egg. In the last month she has whined less and been saying things like, 'I hungry egg' or, 'I thirsty water'. This has been an enormous help not only so that we don't loose our minds, but also in the matter of everybody else figuring out what a Helping Verb is.
Alouicious is like water dripping on a stone. My first response is usually, 'Stop whining. The Israelites whined in the wilderness and they all died. God hates whining. Stop it.' And then, because that doesn't stop it, I say something like, 'Stop. Lower your voice. Ask me again in a normal way.' And then, 'Here is what you sound like. WEeeeeeaahhhhhhh. Now try to sound like me.' And I lower my voice way down low and sing 'Old Man River'. And then we figured out that Alouicious is usually fine if he has some control over his life. So, so far in the last three weeks There Hasn't Been Any Whining Yet because I gave him his list on the first day and told him how much time he can have on his kindle and let it go. He reports to me obsessively even though I have very little interest in where he is on his agenda. Of course, he reports to me obsessively about everyone else as well, and that is not acceptable.

My other life long parenting strategy is to give as little information about what's coming next as possible. There is nothing worse than everyone thinking they're going to the library for a few hours and then have it not happen. So, we don't tell them Anything and then, when its time to go, do a drill sergeant routine to get them dressed and in the car as suddenly as possible. It takes ten minutes and there's no time for anyone to say, 'Where are we going? Why are we going? What are you going to get me? Can I have a muffin? I'm hungry. I need to go to the bathroom. I don't wannnaaaa go.' If you go from lolling about playing to suddenly scrambling to get in the car, there is no anxiety about the future and no time to get something out of your mother. I also rarely give warning that someone is coming over to play because that way, if someone gets sick or cancels, I don't have to hear about the horrible disappointment for the rest of the week.

three

Well, clearly, that should have been its own post. In possible later posts, How to Fail at Potty Training Every Single Time.

four

I have been longing to watch the Republican Convention but I honestly can't stay up for it. Why on earth does the main stuff have to start so late? I go to sleep at 9 o'clock! I did watch Ann Romney yesterday afternoon to see what all the hype was about and...well....really. I'm not married to Mitt Romney. In no way do I want to go home from any dance with him. And this little American Experiment, to me, does not even remotely resemble a dance. I'm not looking for a candidate who will make me feel 'safe' or who will be the hardest worker ever, or who will relate to me personally. What on earth with the 'relating personally' factor. Even Anderson Cooper's poor sad beautiful eyes as he tries to get his panel to figure out whether or not Romney is being 'personal' enough does not move me to care. To channel Mark Steyn, the modern world is coming to a fiscal end. Why isn't everyone running around the stage tearing their clothes, pouring ash on their heads and wailing with repentance and fear? That, I would stay up to watch.

five

If this is true, it would be amazing. I used to throw my malaria prophylactic into the building site at my boarding school, hoping to get sick to avoid school banquets. I got sick often but never missed one of those difficult and uncomfortable evenings. In fact, one year, I fell horribly ill on a Monday before but then was well enough the night of and was forced to go. Still, I was gorgeously thin. Well, maybe not 'gorgeous', maybe more gaunt.

six

I guess I better get up and feed the ravenous pack. There wasn't enough free bread at Shepherd's Bowl so I'll have to make pancakes instead of french toast. And we're out of syrup so they'll have to have jam or expensive golden syrup. And Romulus will cry because he would rather have 'Hot Cereal'. And I will get angry because what kind of horrible little kid would rather have Cream of Wheat from a box than real pancakes.

seven

Yesterday I got up to find that Matt had not just given Alouicious a cup of coffee, but had given ALL THE CHILDREN COFFEE, including the baby.
"What" he said when I started crying, "they wanted to know what it tastes like."
"BUT ITS ONLY 7:30 and ITS FULL OF CAFFINE."
"Well" he said, "Its mostly milk and sugar."
"SUGAR! BUT ITS ONLY 7:30 IN THE MORNING. I SHOULD STILL BE
 SLEEPING."
"Not with your new routine" he said, "You should have been up two hours ago."

Have a great weekend and go check out Jen!

7 quick takes

one

It is gray and pouring rain. It feels like we're about to have winter already. Seriously considering taking up a seasonal affective disorder because, well, it seems to be there for the taking.

two

We're starting school next week anyway. Let it rain because the children will have LOTS to do. Think its going to be a little shock for their poor tender selves. Can hear the agonized whining already, just because they've had to make their beds and practice the piano this morning.

three

If you can call that plinking that I'm listening to right now, "practicing the piano".
We have a proper piano teacher! And so it won't be my problem when they have to explain why they don't know the song. Hard to put into words how happy I am about this.

four

So what do you do on your last full day of summer holiday and its pouring rain? If you're a child that is?
Watch this funny little guy.

My mom thought that "beyblading" was some cool Olympic sport. Sorry Mom! It turns out to be the above. And All Six of my children do it all day long, even the baby. She picks up anything she can find and flings it down hoping it will spin--plates, forks, grapes, books, everything--shouting what sounds to be 'epic battle' but I can't really tell.

five

But if you're me on your last day of summer "holiday" you fold laundry, finish making up a strict school schedule and wait for the last evening of VBS. Five evenings of four children going to hear about Jesus and two children going to bed early has brought about white fish baked with curry powder rubbed all over (I don't care, I like ordinary curry powder) and laid over a bed of stir fried vegetables from my garden. Well, I say 'stir fry' but that's just because I stirred them around in a pan and lathered them with butter and curry powder until they were practically fried. AND then, the next night, I sauteed shrimp with garlic, chives, some kind of old chili pepper from the back of the fridge and tomato from my garden, swirled round with a dollop of greek yogurt, a cutting of basil and a lather of hot chili oil at the end. So delicious. Honestly, I would have paid ten dollars to eat it.

six

Tomorrow we will have been married eleven years. Eleven years of remarkable eating. Eleven years of a wrecked house and constant cleaning up. Eleven years of pastoring and studying and preaching and teaching. Eleven years of pretty good, though sometimes very cheep, wine. Eleven years of stupid exercise. Eleven years of arguing about which documentary to watch. Eleven years of shouting at children to go back to sleep. Eleven years of talking theology and politics. Eleven  years of reading the Onion, Failblog, Cakewrecks, and other stupid stuff on the interwebs. Eleven years of the common things of life. Eleven years of sheer bliss.

seven

So now I guess I'll go have a stab at that "strict schedule". You have to make it, you know, so you can have something Not to do. Every morning over the next ten months I'll wake up and look at my plan for the day and say, to myself and anyone else standing around, 'boy, that was a dumb idea. Who thought of that?' And then go on and do something entirely different. But if I didn't have the plan, where would I be? This year I've got a fourth grader, a third grader, a first grader, a kindergartener, a preschooler and a menace. ALL that will be accounted for in my plan, as well as blogging, laundry, exercise, tea with a friend, occassional Shepherd's Bowl cooking, Sunday School teaching and organizing, maybe a little Altar Guild, some texting and internet surfing and then, also, constant Pimsleur Mandarin CD's in the background so I can shout 'BE QUIET, I JUST MISSED THE ENGLISH!'

some quick takes

Now we are six.
Romulus turned six yesterday.

His hair is all shaggy and wild and he's been running around for days amending a long, but compared to his sister, uncomplicated list of things he longs for: Knights, a Pokemon 50 pack, cars, cars, cars, a Batman mask. He wanted a "rainbow" cake with that part inside. So, as far as I could figure out, he meant Funfetti, that vile sugary "cake" like substance that is so ubiquitous in childhood. A table full of little boys hopped up on Funfetti and icing led to a nearly sonic sized amount of noise. In other words, a good time seemed to be had by all.

    

Before we were two. 

Marigold cut her own hair last weekend. I'm not the least bit surprised she was the first to do such a thing. If anyone in this family has an undercurrent of anything, its Marigold. She is silent and devastating wherever she goes. This morning she went and took the baby's bottle away from her while she was rolling around in bed causing much rage and frustration. Nasty little flower.

And we were also one.
Baby Elaine, whom I'm seriously thinking of just calling Honoria, what with her being such a solid girl, pushy and so forth, is far away from silent, shouting and bellowing wherever she goes.

She has taken to "singing" in church. She picks a note and hollers it, waving her bulletin in the air in a managerial sort of way. Her volume is matched only by her caution. She is cautious about the vacuum, about climbing on things, about water, about going outside, about Other People. Its ridiculous because if anybody could survive anything, it would probably be her, what with being so fat and all.













But one of us is four.
And very fussy about the wretched and horrible bow on every single dress worn every single day.

"Elphine tied my bow to be weally ugly" she said yesterday and then looked at me accusingly, "and your bow looks just like hers."
Ouch
  














And eight is a pretty good number.

But loud, and posturing and silly. Alouicious is entering into all the silly obnoxiousness that Elphine is blessedly leaving behind. He manages to throw everybody off task by just talking to them All The Time. BUT, he is lately really good with the babies. He has a knack for keeping them laughing and occupied and Baby Elaine Honoria prefers him to just about everyone else.














And ten is too old for me.

I was done growing by the time I was twelve. Done Growing. I looked at my shrimpy ten year old yesterday and prayed that she would at least get to be as tall as me, which I admit isn't much to boast about, but still. Each generation in my family seems to get slightly smaller. Soon we will barely exist at all. She found her camera from Christmas and charged it up and has been going around all morning making news reports. "This is Elphine reporting live from the living room" she announces with relish. "There was a big storm yesterday and the community is struggling to recover." She points the camera at her brother, "Alouicious, what can you tell us from the streets?"







And so we were all very busy.
My garden has been growing.
Except the storm tumped my biggest most glorious tomato over last night. About to go out and see what can be done about it, if anything. And I've taken every single thing off of every single shelf in my school room and either trashing it or putting it where it belongs.
 Booooorrrriiiinnngggggggggggg. To make it go faster I've been watching ancient episodes of Yes Minister and Yes Prime Minister. SO Funny! Matt thinks I must be out of my tiny mind. But anyway, tonight we get to watch the Olympics. Any bets on how weird the opening ceremony will be?

7 quick takes

one

The pouring rain gets us out of going on any kind of outing today. You know. You ought to do something "fun" with your children but the idea fills you with a nameless dread and you would much rather spend the day cleaning the children's rooms because you went up there once last week and realized one child was hoarding paper and another child was hoarding what looks to be actual garbage and the babies had got hold of some kind of book and shredded it to a fine dust and so you feel really bad, as a parent, and know that if you get up there and actually clean, you will feel better about yourself. And that's what its all about anyway--feeling good about yourself--isn't it?

two

I know that its all about feelings because I happened to watch a little TV yesterday, which I don't often do. I just turned it on and flipped around and watched a bunch of commercials. There's a commercial for something called Beneful Dog Food. I don't know what they're trying to achieve with a name like 'Beneful' but I can, of course, imagine. So anyway, there's the big golden retriever running through a meadow chasing a ball and we get to hear what the dog is thinking. Turns out he doesn't know the word for 'ball' but he does know words like 'round', 'object', 'what makes me happiest is that when we're playing out here in this meadow my beloved friend and parent smiles and is happy whereas normally, when we're not playing in the meadow, he is a grim horrid man.' My own paraphrase. How remarkable to have advanced so far that dogs, once our obedient, if slightly less intelligent than cats, companions, now care more about how we feel than they do themselves.

three

Speaking of intelligence, our white "dog" barked loudly at the tv during this commercial and then this morning refused to go outside because it was raining.

four

Part of the flipping around landed us on The Real Hutterite Wives of some Wind Driven Snowy Location. I don't know what the program was really called but it was totally strange. Who are these cursing, gossiping, lard eating, education eschewing Hutterites? Elphine and I were entranced as acres of pie were churned out and many many women talked about how they had ditched their education to cook for the community. And the swearing. wow. No more TV for us.

five

Because I really feel like I oughta read more books. Other than blowing through Grace Livingston Hill's The Old Guard I haven't read anything in at least six weeks. Matt's idea of an ideal holiday was to lay around "reading books and watching movies". This idea brought tears of rage and frustration to my eyes because that's what he does when he's working, except for the laying around. He reads All Day (imagine) and then watches a movie while he makes dinner. And then he reads some more. Whereas I wander around picking up toys and yelling at children and then, on the rare occasions when I do pick up a book, fall asleep almost immediately, deeply enough to drool. On my vacation I'd like to...actually I have no idea. If Matt wants to read more that sounds fine.

six

I have a lovely artist friend who has taken up blogging. Go check her out! We don't agree about almost anything, well, except food, which, for me, trumps everything, so I hope you'll go read her! Now! Go! Skip Number Seven!

seven

Because I have to go take breakfast out of the oven anyway. Six cups of cooked oatmeal, whipped together with four eggs, 2T of baking powder, fat pinch salt, some sugar (or whatever), a couple of mushy peaches, some handfuls of blueberries, 1/4 cup oil or melted butter, 3 cups flour. Mashed into two buttered pans and then topped with great slabs of butter, a whole lot of cinnamon and some more sugar. Then into the oven at 350 for awhile until a toothpick comes out clean. And for a brief bright moment the whining stops and I can go back to sleep for fifteen minutes.

Cheerio. Go Check Out Jen!

quick birthday takes

one
If I was going to start a new blog (which I'm not going to do) I would call it My Obese Cat. But then I would have nothing to say because everything is contained in the title.
two
Today is my Mother's Birthday!
Happy Birthday Mother!

Earlier in the week she made a gorgeous dinner for us and my aunt and uncle from Norway.

 The salads were beautifully abundant enough to feed us for a whole week. 

But we ate them all and then ate Zanzibar Chicken (unphotographed) and finally chocolate pots.

 

 And Elphine made brownies AGAIN!

 The dogs lay about hoping for food to rain down, upon the place beneath.

 

three

And then, because... well....when Landers gather together inevitably the subject of my late grandmother's unfortunate habit of crochet rears its startling head, my mother put on the famous purple teacozy? or is it a hat? And she and my aunt talked Lander Legs, Lander Arms and Lander Hearts.

Anyway, today, in furtherance of the festal birthday, we're going to go to a local park with a lake to pray against the scattered thunder showers. Elphine made brownies YET AGAIN for our lunch and we'll probably have some other nice things. And while we do that
four
the fence will be going in!
The wood is here, the cement mixer is here, the massive post hole digger is here. And we will be here except for when we're picnicking. SO Exciting!
five
Also very exciting and wonerful, albiet boring to all those whom I love, is that I got my quarterly and end of the year home school reports in on time. Not only so, but I've put serious time and energy into next year's plan, both calendar and curriculum. The glow of well being and accomplishment is only slightly softened by the large pile of other work sitting on my desk and in my heart--like going over our Sunday School program with a fine tooth pen.
six
Also, I need to wrest out of the grubby grasp of the baby some horrible birthday card that, when you open it, sings 'Winnie the Pooh, Winnie the Pooh, tubby ol something something'. She was rewarded in her twice daily dig through the waste paper basket ("STOP THAT BABY" the whole world yells as she hones in like a remotely controlled Obama drone) by finding this card which sets us back days and days in the breaking of this vile habit.
seven
And that, dear friends, is the substance of my life. If I don't get up and start finding sunscreen, hats, umbrellas and food, these children will rise up as one and fling me into the Susquehanna.

Go check out Jen!

7 takes to catch up

one

I think its been a busy week but I can't really remember. My mom and dad are here and yesterday they drove down to NJ to pick up my Great Aunt and bring her up here for a visit. So that's very exciting and wonderful, and the explanation for why I've barely popped open my computer except to check my email, and even then I've been forgetting to do that.

two

I have been rather successfully keeping school going. I'm dreading the moment we finish everything and the multitude of the Kennedy children can wake up and careen around purposeless and triumphant. Some of them are already negotiating the level of their academic pursuits over the summer.
"Half an hour of reading" Alouicious has decreed, "no math, no writing."
"We'll see," I've said, "But whatever it is will definitely be more than half an hour of reading."
On the whole this year has been pretty good. ('High praise indeed,' you might scoff, unless you homeschool, in which case you know what I'm talking about.)

three

And I've sorted out my next school year, and planned when to buy what I'm going to buy. And I've deep cleaned my school room. And I finished the Great Clothes Change Over of 2012. But no I haven't weeded my garden, or planned Summer Sunday School (still accepting teachers, all you Good Shepherdians!), or gotten a handle on the laundry, or removed the horrible green marker dots from Glady's lovely pink dress, or clipped the dogs heavy coats of hair and given them a bath (Rain Rain! Go Away!).

four

Speaking of which, here is the little pom. Cute, if loud. But he is cured of barking on walks. Now he weeps at not being allowed to bark. And he is eating and sleeping comfortably.

 

He must be mixed with something. From all the pictures of Pomeranians I've looked at, he doesn't look exactly like that and his body is too squat I think. Anyway, there he is. Or rather, here he is with us.

five

I'm trying to read, or rather listen to, the Bible chronologically. This is the second time I've started (like a Pharisee, I never make it past Deuteronomy) so I've blown through the first 90 days of the plan in three weeks. I started this years ago when Jessica blogged so beautifully about it and I thought, 'Oh, that will make me so spiritually mature, like her' but then, obviously, here I am, three years later, still in the Pentateuch. Anyway, I finished Deuteronomy This Morning. So now I have only to click forward with my mouse, instead of sabotaging myself by going backwards.

six

 As part of the Great Clothes Change Over of 2012 I came across a bin of pre-marriage skinny clothes and........I fit back into them. I almost wept with hope and wonder. And also wept because even though I can get into them, they don't look the same as they did so long ago. My shape has been irreparably altered by the six enormous human beings I've given life to. And, what a joy and wonder that's been. Anyway, I am heartened because I've been eating less food, which, if you read the books, you have to do to get skinnier, and walking up the wretched hill. And I've been hating every minute of it. But I think its been worth it. Of course, having written it down in a blog, I'll probably accidentally eat a whole cake today and balloon out. But there it is, marked in time and space, Anne Got Skinnier one time.

seven

Matt's parents are moving out of their lovely and beautiful home this weekend. They sold it very quickly when it went on the market, so quickly they haven't found the next house of their dreams. Matt looks like he could use a cake to cheer him up (just kidding, he hates cake! Don't bring cake! He won't eat it but I will! Srsly! NO CAKE!) and I'm sure they could use your prayers as they move into an apartment and keep house hunting. Don't you just hate change? And yet God is always asking us to change and be different and grow. I think some time he should just let us sit and not move house or anything.

And on that note, go check out Jen and have a lovely weekend!