Various teams of Good Shepherdians are out mucking out peoples houses this afternoon. Actually, they've been at it all day. It seemed bad to me to lollygag around so we've done a fair bit of school (even though generally Monday we don't do Anything) and I've spent a while ineffectually moving piles of laundry around. Outside the bright sun is, a la PG Wodehouse, ominously and meanly cheerful while so many suffer.
Yesterday! though, we suspended all the human and community suffering to have lunch with still a long way off which, as Gladys would say, was "Awthum!!". He came to worship with us and then unloaded a large apportionment of cool Japanese candy and other beautiful and amazing gifts over a nice afternoon of roast chicken (see below) and potatoes (see below). So dear to all our hearts, he has been referred to all day as "Father Awthum Candy". Thank you for coming!
So, here's how to roast a chicken during church.
Have your husband buy and prep the chicken the night before (Crushed garlic, salt, pepper, thyme, olive oil rubbed under the skin and all over the outside. The inside stuffed with fresh thyme, a whole onion and whatever bits of lemon you find in the back of your fridge.) cover it with cling film (or whatever you call it) and leave it the fridge.
In the morning, after you've run over to start the 8am service without drying your hair, leaving a gaggle of hysterical and anxious and hungry children at the mercy of their father whom you've irreparably wounded by not finding his collar for him and whose sermon won't print and then come back after the readings because his sermon finally did print and he slipped in and poked you in the back so you knew it was ok to leave, vacuum the house, dry your hair and put the bird in at 275 for three hours.
Go back to church and make a poster for Adult Ed, gather up handfuls of preschoolers and teach them Sunday School, run upstairs late for church and remind your husband of two announcements he needs to make as he's processing down the aisle. Concentrate on listening hard to the sermon and music and everything and not be distracted by counting people who aren't there and worrying about them. After the creed, run home and take the chicken out and throw a dish of whole scrubbed potatoes covered in olive oil and salt covered with tinfoil. Sprint back to church so as not to miss communion and have a lovely friend pray over you at the back because you look maniacal. Run around after church trying to talk to everybody on the list scribbled on your hand about all the things on your list at home. Drag yourself away to a really perfectly moist chicken.