Tuesday, April 03, 2012

because nothing says 'the death of Jesus' like butter and dried fruit

Nigella's Hot Cross Buns recipe is way too involved. I don't have dried fruit in my cupboard. I don't want to go out and specially buy 'bread' flour. I don't want to let it rise over night in my fridge. Who does she think I am? Someone who only has to cook Easter dinner and scatter bits of fake grass around my living room? Honestly. I need something that will take me 5 minutes prep time and 20 minutes to bake.

And also, I need something for dessert on Easter that will be beautiful, not weird, and possibly  acquirable from a supermarket of some kind. I'm waffling between Wegman's Aamazing Chocolate Cake and that fruit covered thing. If I skip baking the wretched Buns, I'll definitely have time to pop over than and gather one to myself.

Anyway, I've sorted my Easter Baskets. I was the only woman in Target muttering 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6........ 2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 12........ 3, 6, 9, 12, 15......Thank the Lord for all those CC skip counting songs. Finally cried out to the unsuspecting lady next to me in the basket aisle "I really hate that stupid grass!"
She looked up in sympathy and said "That's why I always use tissue paper. I can't stand getting it out of my carpet."

Managed to come away in the end with a vat of chocolate and some other sugared items, two big headed Star Wars fluffy things, some My Little Pony packets, and some yo-yos. After the children have over sugared themselves and cried over not having found an equal number of eggs each in the garden, they can weep because they've wound themselves up in a lot of stupid string. I particularly look forward to watching Marigold scream in frustration and rage because I was mean enough to give her an orange yo-yo.

So now I can seriously concentrate on the real business of the week, writing some sermons and training a lot of acolytes.


R said...

Hah! Shame, the local teashop/bakery does wonderful Hot Cross Buns. I've decided to make it tradition to stop in on Good Friday after service for tea and buns. We did last year, so maybe can pull it off again. :D My Easter woes have largely been over the complete and utter lack of white eggs in the shops, and the complete and utter lack of those stupid fillable plastic ones as well. NO WHITE EGGS! SERIOUSLY! How am I supposed to dye brown Easter eggs? What am I supposed to hide if I can't dye Easter eggs and there are no plastic ones either? I could hide Quail eggs (they are lovely) but I think the girls would never find them, and I might not either (and that would just be silly).


Amendment: After four different stores, I have located Cotswold BLUE eggs! So that's something. :D Crazily overpriced for a half dozen- hope hope hope the dyes work. ;)

Dr. Alice said...

My recommendation for Easter dessert is chilled, sliced navel oranges on a pretty plate along with a dish of Easter chocolates. Everyone loves those little foil-covered eggs, even adults. The oranges and chocolate go rather well together, I find.

Did I mention it was easy?