"We would never forget Anyone, not any of you three!"
"You mean four? Any of you four?"
And so Lambeth comes to a smashingly disappointing, though not at all surprising halt. The only good thing about it is that it is over and Matt gets to come home and we can all be together again. I've missed him enormously. And not just because I'm very tired of all the little children. Its been a long two weeks without getting to really talk to him or know how he's doing.
This afternoon we're driving back to San Antonio for one last hurrah with the cousins. I need to gather up all the bits of toys scattered all over this beautiful one level house, fling them into suitcases, and start mentally preparing myself for a house full of stairs (my house) and general clutter and many projects and a long to do list. Before you know it we'll be home.
I find it symbolically fitting that I spent Lambeth here, in the place from which I watched GC03-that first thread pulled that has rent the whole fabric asunder. Now there are threads unraveled all over the place. You can't even really see what the threads, all gathered, would look like. There have been so many times they could have been woven back together, the tear could have been mended, Something could have been done. But all those chances are lost and gone. We can only trust to God's mercy and grace, which is what he's been asking us to do all the time anyway.
And so, I will go home and go on in the same way as we always having, reading the news as it comes, telling people about Jesus, calling people to remind them to come to church, cleaning my vast cluttered house, trying to teach my children to read and do math and be obedient to God in all things.
Maybe, to console myself, I'll try to convince Matt we should have another baby.