Monday, February 19, 2007

Well, I'm exhausted. I've moved from this spot on my bed 4 times today--once for toast, twice to change the baby, and then for toast again. My eyes are burning. I'm so glazed over that I feel no emotion whatsoever about what has transpired. Rationally I know that all will be well for the following reasons
1. Matt, Kendall, Sarah, Baby Blue etc are very happy and relieved
2. Susan Russell, Fr. Jake etc are very angry and disappointed
3. There is a deadline within this year
4. The deadline is one TEC will be absolutely loath to meet
5. There is continued safe harbor for the time being
However, my rational joy cannot, at this moment, overcome my weariness. My life and the life of my family has been lived out in the shadow of heresy and dissent and trouble. I long for a swift and clean conclusion to this mess. But instead I've been given another six months to wait. And so I will. I will wait on the Lord. And I will pray. And I will rest my weary eyes.


BabyBlue said...

You know, Anne - I feel in a similar way. We give and give and give, and perhaps don't realize how much we need the outpouring of the Holy Spirit to revive and refresh us - but also to instill in our hearts hope.

I can see now why the Children of Israel got to complaining - I mean think about it, wandering about the wilderness, eating the same thing day after day, depending on Moses and few of his buddies to get them where they were supposed to be going, Perhaps Egypt did start looking pretty good.

I think one of the things that keeps me going when I feel weary (and I do as well tonight), is all the good friends we make along the way. It's just the most fantastic group of people, all these characters, I just love them. And perhaps that's a clue to us as well why the Lord hangs in there too.

So yes, I think you are right to point out that undercurrent - you can see it even in the documents released, you can imagine what had to be done to get to the place that they did. I guess that's why that song "Step by Step" seem to have great appeal to me over the weekend. We want to rush to the finish line and sometimes we stumble along the way. But we just take each step and keep our eyes fixed on the Real Goal - Jesus. He will not let us down.

Blessings to you,

Anonymous said...

Thank you, Anne! I, too, spent the well as the greater part of the week, talking to others, staying glued to SFIF and T19 and doing the basics for family. They knew this was going to be a few days for take-out!

Thanks to you and Matt for all you do. I think your post sums ups the feeling in the orthodox community pretty well. It is not "perfect" (at least in our eyes), but God is good...and it's a clearer path than we've had in a long time!

Liz Forman

Nasty, Brutish & Short said...

Bless you! Glad to see the better half has a blog. Huge fans of you and your husband. Wish you two were running our parish. Maybe someday!