Friday, May 04, 2012

seven quick quick reasons we need a dog

Last night a tiny baby squirrel was discovered chirping and freaking out in our back yard. There were about 10 kids back there playing and shouting and banging sticks together when they noticed him dancing along the ground under the hedge crying for help and comfort. Fortunately my friend held the hoard at bay. I wandered out to inquire about the commotion and the poor baby ran straight up to me, climbed into my hand, tucked his head into my bosom and closed his eyes. Unfortunately, Matt and my friend conspired against me, Matt getting a box together and my friend greedily making off with him at a remarkable speed.


So anyway, here are seven reasons we need a dog.
one
I'm really tired of sweeping the floor. With six children dropping food on the floor, all I do is sweep. I could use the help.
two
It took me forever as a child to aquire a dog and its ridiculous that as an adult, I'm still waiting around to have a dog. Its like there's no benefit to growing up and getting a life.
 three
The children are old enough to assist in caring for such a creature. They clean the wretched cat boxes, feed and pet the cats, they get up early to do school work, they participate in the household work. They are old enough to care for a dog.
four
The cats are getting fat and need the exercise. Besides, one of them is already like a dog and would appreciate the company.
five
Getting a dog affirms the memory and love of all previous dogs. When a person dies, does one refuse to have anything more to do with people? I hope not. The more animals you care for in life, the better a time you will have in heaven. Those who refuse to have pets here on earth will get off the bus in heaven and will have no one to welcome them. They will be like the poor saps who get off the plane and have to walk through the crowd alone to the rental car, eveyone looking at them and saying sorrowfully, "nobody loves him".
six
The price of gas and the number of our family make travel prohibitive and therefore a dog will be of no inconvenience on that score.
seven
The children and I had a lovely prayer time together and we really feel the Lord leading us, as a family, to aquire and care for a dog. We don't have any peace, right now, about not having a dog. 

9 comments:

Charlie Sutton said...

Do you try to be as hilarious as you are, or does it just come naturally. I have never read anyone who could deal with even a very serious topic and have some levity (just the right amount in the case of serious topics)) added in. Very enjoyable!

I hope you get a dog soon. They do add a lot to a family life, even if cats are also present.

Liz H said...

We recently had to give up our two dogs. It was heartbreaking because one of them was my "child" for the past 10 years but because I had more "real" children he had to be rehomed when he started biting. The other was a rescue who was completely ungrateful and wouldn't stop marking my house. Grr. The fact that my husband refused to put him in the crate didn't help either...
I want another dog but my husband must sign a contract first, agreeing to crate siad dog whenever we are not home to monitor it's activities. I have one dog-eaten Ethan Allen couch and many other ruined items for his indiscretions!
What I miss most about having a dog? A place to put leftovers. And the amazing vacuuming abilities of most dogs. They also make excellent dish washers.
If I had an "Indian" name it would be "Wanting a Poodle."

Teacher Mommy said...

#7 makes me think, oddly enough, of Adrian Plass.

I have three cats and six children as well. A dog would bring havoc and smelliness. With as many noxious emissions being, well, emitted already, the smell of dogginess would overwhelm me.

However, once all the children have grown up and moved (one hopes) Out, perhaps we will obtain one Very Small Dog who can be tucked under an arm and transported far more easily than the Horde.

At A Hen's Pace said...

You've just given me a great idea for a post, soon... "Seven Reasons Why We Do Not Need a Dog." My children have been working on me for years and I just can't bring myself. It feels like adding another child to the family, one who can't go everywhere with us and who will never grow up! Also, they all think it will be their dog when we all know it will think it is My Dog. So I tell them, when I am ready for a dog, someday, when I have no babies left to snuggle with, I will get myself a very small dog. I thought I'd be there by now, with my baby turned 7, but I still just can't add it to my life!

I would love the vacuuming help. That's the one thing that has tempted me always.

I hope you find the perfect dog for your family!

~Jeanne

Kat said...

You can't always rely on a dog for the vacuum cleaning ability. The list of things my dog doesn't eat is longer than the list of things he will- never before have I known a dog who wouldn't eat egg whites! And then there is the fur that needs vacuumed- but with 2 cats already, that won't really be a difference, unless you lose your mind and get one of the Nordic breeds.

If you don't want to worry about a dog marking, the best chance of that is to not get a male dog! And for those wanting a Very Small Dog- you do realize the small dogs are the ones most likely to be obnoxiously loud and to bite at children and grandchildren, right? I'll take a nice quiet and patient Rottweiler over a yippy and snappy Poodle, every time! (That said, my dream dog is a Cavalier King Charles, who have been bred for temperament.)

Dave said...

Give up, Matt... You're doomed! Once the women-folk in a house decide they want a dog, it's just a matter of time before you have one.

Last year my wife and daughter decided that "I" needed a dog. I am now the proud "father" of a 110 lb German Shepherd. I have to admit though; my "carnivorous horse" is a wonderful animal and a great companion.

Portia's Mom said...

Dogs require almost as much care as a child and can be quite destructive, but they are God's gift to human beings. With all of the dogs in rescues and shelters, I am sure there is one with your family's name on it.

Anonymous said...

maybe you will get a puppt this weekend
Art

Andy said...

I highly recommend a Scotty.