Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Three is too much

I just went to Wegmans with the three little girls. Matt had to take Elpine out to lunch (she wore a super fancy new dress and shoes, a tiara in her hair, a tiny cross necklace and took a shiny black purse. She was ready to go two hours early. Apparently, said Matt, she's very interested in boys. I don't know what exactly about them, but there you go. Shoot.) and the boys were with one of their favorite people being spoiled (as I just found out) and so not to be outdone, I went to the store.

Three kids, as most of you know, is no big deal. Its like not having kids. I raced around the store rushing to be done before Matt and Elphine so I could pick them up on my way home.

TWO SEPARATE people said, "three kids, wow! Are they all yours?"
Both times I stood stunned, unable to speak from surprise.
Are you kidding me? There were like six other women in the store with three kids. What do you mean, "Are they all mine?" So here's some of the things I should have said but didn't.

No, but they were just so cute I took them out of someone else's cart and I'm planning on taking them home.

No, I like to gather other people's toddlers and babies and take them to the grocery store so I can pick up men. Oh wait, that doesn't work for women does it.

Yes, they're all mine and I have three more at home and I'm looking to give some away. You can have the toddler because she bites.

Of course, for the ultimate guide on what to say you should go visit Simcha.


Kat said...

You should adopt the Frank Gilbreth answer, and say that they are cheaper by the dozen. ;) He also reportedly would say that he thought he was missing one or two of them.

I would imagine that the horror/surprise was that you were in a store with 3 children so close in age. If you had been with Elpine, Romulus, and the baby, for instance, I bet no one would have remarked on it.

You should consider yourself lucky that no one asked if you were going to try for a boy next time. I have friends with children of the same gender, and strangers are always stopping them to ask this question- right in front of the children.

Jerusha said...

LOVE this post. In previous months (and before we adopted #4 from China), I heard "Wow, you've got your hands full!" every single time I went to W@lmart. Really? It's just three kids. Huh.

Tregonsee said...

A surprising number of people are opting for none or one. If one believes in evolution, and all good Liberals do, then those who constitute the next generation are going to have a much more positive view of children. After all, the future belongs to those who pair for it. Want to have some real fun? Just point this out to your friendly neighborhood Liberal and watch the look on their face when they realize who will inherit the earth, or at least the next couple of generations.

Kellie said...

I've always liked Simcha's #4 on that list.

Happy birthday to E!

Kat said...

Despite the screaming of the Greens, the average number of children per household in the U.S. is still right around 2.5. It hasn't changed by more than a couple tenths of a point in decades. Some of Western Europe started getting worried, so they started paying people to have children (The UK, France that I know of for sure), and their populations started to grow again, but that was one of the things they had to drop when the money ran out.

Like Al Gore and his SUV's (and his 4 children) the way so many radicals think one should live only seems to apply to OTHER people.

Charlie Sutton said...

I'm the oldest of seven, and when I told people that, I was often asked, "Are you Catholic?" My reply was, "No. My parents just like each other."

Anonymous said...

Have you heard the 12 Days of a Large Family Christmas? It covers all the comments and ends with some snappy replies.



p.s. My sister has triplets and has been asked, "fertility drugs or no?"
She's also heard "Look, 3 twins!"