Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Brazilian Boiled Pork

So you take a huge, practically obscene, piece of meat, pork, that you bought at 1.25$ a lb at Wegmans, and you come home with it, all your groceries, and five kids, learning, along the way, that the sixth kid has learned how to climb out of her crib just that moment, and fretting that this Wegman's trip marks the point at which your oldest child will no longer be going in to the play place but will now, being nine, go shopping with you and the babies, but that in many ways even at just about nine, she is still way too silly to carry on a reasonable conversation,
so you take this marbled fat pork shoulder, after getting all the groceries in and realizing that you forgot three things but then getting distracted while putting everything away and sit down to drink an entire pot of tea by yourself because your husband said he would have a cup but forgot and went to work and it seemed a waste to let it sit, and then you realize that your end of the year reports are due tomorrow so you freak out and start trying to do them and swearing gently under your breath and pleading with the kids to leave you alone and go play, somewhere, anywhere but right here so you can concentrate,
and you put the pig in a giant pot and you pour a cup of soy sauce, and something like 15 smashed cloves of garlic, and two lemons (it should be limes but you were distracted in the store) and a bunch of dried thyme because you're out of oregano and rosemary, and you cover it with water and your bring it to a boil and then turn it way down to simmer/boil gently,
and then, after you print and mail your reports you decide not to put the groceries away because you'll have to be in the kitchen again later but instead to start taking everything out of the office and putting in the sun room on the bookshelves you emptied of books a few days ago, and you do that until 6 o'clock, making both rooms into an utter despairing mess, and then you realize its supper time and everyone is crying and trying to eat sugar popsicles and so you wildly put groceries away and make couscous and salad while taring off bits of this most divine and amazing pig that you've ever tasted and you fling it on plates and the children start stuffing themselves even before their father has walked through the door and then you realize
this is why you could never ever be a vegetarian.

9 comments:

Laura in NJ said...

amen.

Sarah Boyle Webber said...

Ah, that I had been blessed with the gift of cooking. Alas, no. You are amazing, Anne Kennedy.

Anne Kennedy said...

No no! I'm not amazing. Its the easiest thing ever, as easy as boiling water. You basically just boil all the liquid away and then try not to eat it all at once. SO EASY. SO DELICIOUS.

Nori said...

Ohmyword,Anne. I was laughing SO hard as I read this!

Free Range Anglican said...

That sounds utterly delicious... I'm going to have to try the pork. The rest of it, I do all the time anyway. Here's to shopping with nine year olds, I thought mine would talk me to death in the check-out today.

Sjengelhardt said...

You know, I read your blog for the cooking tips as much a anything else? I do.

Elizabeth Kaeton said...

This is a marvelous piece of writing Anne. How well I remember the days - at one point, our six with five foster kids - the tally was 11 kids all under the age of 12.

By the way, this also works well with a brisket of beef.

Maggie C said...

So Anne, approximately how long are you boiling the pork? I'm guessing a couple of hours, or is this an all day, sit on the stove dish?

Anne Kennedy said...

As long as it takes to boil all the liquid away.