I was reminded again this weekend that I've never given an explanation for the title of this blog. When one sets out to name a blog, unlike the process of naming a child, or a school, one casts about in one's mind, thinks of several cutesy things, finally says, 'whatever, I'm naming it this', logs onto blogger, finds the name surprisingly not claimed and signs up. Then one posts pretty little posts of how to make bread and all the cute things one's children are saying.
Astute readers will see where said blogger went wrong.
She didn't think about an audience. She has too many subjects she's covering. Like...
general sarcastic irritation with life,
spiritual things...So she will never be linked by bloggers with a good focus (all three of you who have linked me are to be commended for your brilliance in seeing past the veneer of incompetence to the brilliance of the writing found on this blog). She will never be linked by sarcastic mean bloggers because she's too spiritual. She will never be linked by lovely Christian bloggers because the title of her blog has the word 'hostile' in it. She will never be linked by intellectual bloggers because she talks too much about her children. She will never be linked by mommy bloggers because she hates to be called 'mommy' except and only by her actual children.
Such a blogger spends time quietly comforting herself that it doesn't matter if anyone links her; she writes because she likes to and because its a better hobby than trying to sew because she doesn't know how to sew. And she quietly criticizes other bloggers for not blogging often enough. But basically she knows that had she thought more about the name of a blog, she would have had no residual anxiety about her blog.
So why does a blogger even consider the name 'an undercurrent of hostility'? Well, to begin with, if its part of the vocabulary life of one's early life. As in 'did you feel the undercurrent of hostility in that room?' or 'boy, there's a strong undercurrent of hostility, I hope it doesn't come to the surface and cause us all to be embarrassed.' Those kinds of things.
When I started this blog I was seriously hostile towards an array subjects. But when I say 'seriously hostile' I really mean 'vaguely annoyed' or sometimes 'seriously annoyed' or maybe once in a good long while 'frankly ticked off'. The Anglican Mess, for example, enjoined itself too all three levels. The disobedience of my children makes it every day to Level Two. On the other hand, the cultural shift of people in the church deciding not to have babies 'frankly ticks me off'. And obviously, Daylight Savings Time makes it to Level Three every time.
How could it not be so. I was finally waking up early in the morning in time to pray, read the Bible AND work out. The baby was on a regular eating and sleeping schedule. We had settled into a restful post Christmas pre Easter rhythm, only to have it shattered by the insanity of the idea that we can 'save daylight'.
So of course I've been considering changing the name of this blog. But not very seriously. I think, ultimately, I'd rather just keep writing here whether anyone reads it or not, or links me or not, because writing is a great pleasure and that's why I do it.