Thursday, March 05, 2009

A Lenten Confession

I'm going to try and go to Catechesis training on Saturday. I'm planning to just go for the morning. Contigent on this crazy idea is that tomorrow I write a sermon, do the bulletin, catch up on the laundry, write a stack of letters, and reclaim order of some kind in some domain...Matt says he will supervise the children doing school.

It occurred to me, as I was writing out my list of things I expected to do, that whereas other people over indulge in food, alcohol, exercise, greed-I don't know, name a vice-I over indulge in 'things I plan to do in a day'. I'm so afraid of doing too little, that I always plan to do far far too much. And like any vice, I enjoy it, and most of the time, I spiritualizingly justify it to myself in order to make myself feel more holy than you.

Matt is an excellent prioritizing focus point. 'Breathe,' he says, 'list of what you have to do'.
I start listing and after each thing he says 'up' or 'down' meaning they go up or down in importance on the list. I was irritated, this morning, to hear him put 'take a shower' way down on the list. But he was completely right. By cutting that out, and all the housework, we did a full day of school, I made a bevy of calls, I made fantastic meals (Breakfast: soft boiled eggs and toast. Lunch: Ramen and grilled cheese. Supper: Buckwheat Banana Pancakes) and now I'm blogging.

I'm not making a true confession. I don't feel repentant enough about my way of life to desire to change it, yet, but at least I've noticed. So those of you who were waiting for a quiet moment to mention this huge character flaw to me can rest in peace that I already know.

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