Monday, December 31, 2012


Several weeks ago Matt and I asked Elphine and Alouicious what they planned to resolve in the New Year, or, to put it another way, what resolutions they might like to make.

"For my New Year's Revolutions" Elphine said, relishing each word, "I will listen to all five volumes of The Story of the World, listen to the Whole Bible, talk less about myself, and be nicer to everyone."
Alouicious was less pious. "I" he said, "resolve to be more awesome."

No matter how often I try to get Elphine to say 'resolution' she persists with 'revolution', partly, I am sure, to spite me, and partly because it is cooler to plan a revolution than a resolution. Who are we kidding? Wouldn't we all like the whole world to be quickly, even if bloodily, better, not slowly and painstakingly improved in tiny ways that the stranger walking by wouldn't even know about? Last year I quietly settled myself to the loosing of lots and lots of weight--to get down to where I was before all the children, imagine--and to read through the Bible in the year, both of which I've basically, though not perfectly, accomplished. But the nose upturned young lady at the jewelry counter to whom I was trying to explain that the earring she'd sold me three days before broke the moment it came out of the tissue paper didn't know that I am much more awesome now than I was last year. I couldn't say out loud, "You shouldn't think I don't deserve to wear these earrings because, in fact, they will look fine on me and I know I'm not looking as fancy as you with all your necklaces and hair, but last year you would have despised me as much, if not more."

So this year, apart from resolving not to hate that young lady, but instead to pray for her or something (does it date me that I keep calling her young?), I am also resolving to
-finally read The Lord of the Rings even if it kills me
-read through the Bible again but in a different order
-post at least 200 times on this blog over the year
and of course
-be more awesome.


Michelle said...

You're already awesome enough. This year, just wallow in current awesomeness.

Dr. Alice said...

I love your son's resolution; may have to borrow it for myself. I want to Change Things in 2013 - get in better shape, be more understanding with my patients while of course being more efficient, to finally commit to a church. But "being more awesome" covers all of that I think.

Julie said...

No more resolutions for me. When I quit smoking, everyone assured me that I'd feel better. I didn't. No one told me my metabolism would slow down and I'd gain weight. Lovely.

So then I had to resolve to lose weight. I started to exercise daily and eat more healthily. I actually GAINED weight because I gained muscle. So my BMI went up and my doctors are wagging their fingers at me.

I give up.