Sunday Conversations

Anne in a sleep laden effort to sort out the implications of the Don Armstrong/Grace Church imbroglio (that's right, I've given up reading anything but PG Wodehouse): So, let me try and understand. If you commit tax fraud, its the IRA that would care and come after you. The bishop might care, but really, its the IRA that would prosecute? Is that right?
Matt: The IRA?
Anne: Yeah. And you would have to have intent to commit fraud, right? You would have to really be trying to embezzle money. Right?
Matt: The IRA?
Anne: Is that right?
Matt: The IRA? Do you mean the Irish Republican Army or the Internal Revenue Service?
Anne: Oh, I guess not the IRA. Although, that would make things even more interesting wouldn't it?
A: Why is mommy crying and laughing?

A: I waaant some meooook.
Anne: I waaant some meoook.
A: I don't like that sound.
Anne: Well, that's what you sound like.
A: I want to stop whining and say may I please have some meok.
Anne: That's a good idea. Why don't you do that?
A: Okay.
(All speech by A several pitches higher than the average human being can stand.)

Got Power?

My astute brilliance was picked up by Susan Russell today on her blog, An Inch at a Time. She is appalled at my expressed opinion that Don Armstrong should have consolidated his power base by either not hiring people who disagreed with him or firing them afterward. Well, maybe not appalled. It just affirms what she already knew, how evil, power hungry and hypocritical we conservative/reasserters are.

I'm very tired, unfortunately, having cut the hair of my three children and bathed them and put them to bed, so I'm having a pathetic time organizing my thoughts into a pithy and theologically sound reply. However, two vague thoughts have arisen in my cloudy mind.

One, power exists in the church. Surely Susan Russell should know this. She is a priest in a large parish in California. I won't brook the idea that she doesn't exercise power in her own church. AND, certainly, the goal of Integrity, as an organization, has been to lobby, consolidate, build support, indeed a power base to achieve a specific goal-the 'full inclusion' of non celibate GLBT people in all orders of the church. Part of the problem has been that the orthodox in TEC haven't, the past 50 years, played the power game. They didn't bother to go to General Convention, to be on Diocesan Commissions on Ministry, to do the boring politicking that is required to achieve political goals in the American church. Only recently have these same orthodox woken up in shock and realized how far the church has drifted from the gospel.

Which leads me to my second vague thought. That it is not about mere raw secular power, it is about authority-Kingdom Authority. The main reason to be careful about who you hire is because, if they are going to exercise ministry and authority in the church, that means they are going to have an influence on the souls of your congregation, in teaching, preaching, pastoral care. And if the person you hire doesn't faithfully adhere to the gospel, you don't want them near your people. Because teaching and preaching has eternal consequences. You're either leading people towards God in Jesus Christ, or away from him. And TEC at this point, is preaching a different Gospel, Susan Russell included. So I wouldn't hire her.

And I would be willing to put a few pennies down that she wouldn't hire me either, or Matt. Why? Because she thinks we're teaching and leading people astray. And she wouldn't want us corrupting her people. For this I don't for a minute think Ms. Russell is evil or bad. I think she's doing what she believes best. She's wrong, of course, and I pray for her. I encourage you also to do so.

One Thing and Another

I have been on the verge of posting several times the last few days but have been constantly side tracked by 1. The Don Armstrong/Grace Church/Bishop O’Neil Mess, 2. The British soldiers taken hostage by Iran, and 3. My children’s culinary intransigence. So, I’m going to try and write about all three and see how it goes. Maybe in the reverse order.

3. We finally decided to cope with the fact that our children are becoming picky eaters. And because heaviness tends to run in my side of the family and we’re trying to be healthy and weight conscious parents we’ve opted out of the ‘finish everything on your plate every time come hell or high water’, my grandmother’s approach to food. Instead we’ve decided to stake our claim on ‘if you take it yourself you have to eat all of it come hell or high water’, in the hopes that our kiddos will learn to eat only until they are full and then stop eating, and be able to judge portion size for themselves. As a result E spent two hours in front of her dinner last night, which she served herself. It was getting late and I was exhausted, so we gave her the choice of finishing right then or eating it for breakfast. It is now 10:30am, next morning and she is sitting in front of it picking at it and crying. I hate this fight. I still bear a certain level of grudge towards my dear beloved parents (who really can do no wrong) for making me eat Ratatouille, that slimy eggplant infested stew with a gentle hit of bitterness. E is not facing anything so upsetting. She is sitting in front of delicious lightly sautéed chicken and couscous studded with peas. In general I try not to go head-on into something I know is going to lead to a stand off. But we’ve been catering too much to their every whim and desire and so it had to be done. Hope she eats it before the day is over and we can move on to the next trauma.

2. I’ve decided to pray for these hostages instead of worrying about them, a decision I haven’t been totally able to uphold. But besides the obvious horror of their being taken in the first place and the many bad ways this could end, this crisis upsets me for two other reasons. First, I’m going to be politically incorrect and primitive and say that I just cannot support women in combat military situations. And even more, can’t support women with children in the military at all. A nation and culture that sends its mothers to war in the name of equal opportunity deserves that it gets. Ours and every other one. I know simplifying a complex issue in this way probably isn’t helpful and that the military affords women and men many wonderful opportunities AND I admire the women who sign up. They are brave and they should be honored. But we shouldn’t ask them to go into situations like these. There should be other places for women to serve that won’t put them in places like Iran, especially if they have children. And Second, I’m discouraged by Britain’s luke warm response to this crisis. Others have already spoken about it more effectively. But when a nation decides not to fight back, I don’t see how long that nation/civilization will last. I will cease speaking about that of which I know not.

1. I don’t really have anything to add to the various debates going on about this matter. For those of you who are not Anglican, Don Armstrong is rector of a major church in Colorado. The bishop is accusing him of various things including tax fraud and mismanagement of funds. Armstrong claims he is innocent. The matter is further complicated by the fact that Armstrong is head of the Anglican Communion Institute (ACI), a think tank that has had enormous sway in communion matters, including the present crisis. The ACI seems to be distancing themselves from Armstrong and his troubles. In the last few days Grace Church and Armstrong have left The Episcopal Church and gone under the overseas protection of CANA (church of Nigeria). It’s a complete mess. It is unclear if Armstrong is guilty or innocent. It is clear that Bishop O’Neil has handled everything very badly. I await further news.

However, the icing on the cake (this morning, for me) is that the organist of Grace Church is making the bold decision to stay in the Episcopal Church and is try to take chunks of the choir with him. This is fabulous. I can number on one finger the number of good clergy/organist relationships I’ve witnessed in the church (that would be our present one at Good Shepherd). We even role played in seminary how, as clergy we should talk to the church organist. It is the one major power center in the church that consistently vies with the rector. As an outside ignorant observer, it is a big red flag to me that the organist is there, having sway, taking people with him. That Armstrong wouldn’t have consolidated power and got rid of people who were happy to undercut him seems unwise. I’m sorry to say it, but there are power issues always at play in the church and the rector has to be aware of who has power and what they’re trying to do with it. It just seems like there are so many problems in this church. I guess it should be no surprise to find sin, even in good orthodox churches. After all, we’re all fallen, we’re all mucking in this together, we’re not always going to do the righteous and holy thing, even if we have our theology all lined up in the right order. My prayers are with Fr. Armstrong and his church and even Bishop O’Neil. I hope the truth comes to light swiftly and graciously and good wise decisions can be made to heal this broken mess.

An Interesting Tid Bit

Just found this over on the Daily Mail. Don't agree with the conclusion of the article, but the findings are interesting. Although, I'm always skepticle of these Sweedish studies. I read of two several years ago, one finding that if you put one foot in front of the other at a faster rate, you would get where you were going more quickly, and the other finding that women who give birth to boys die sooner than women who give birth to girls. I don't remember any of the details of these studies or how to find them, but I will definitly keep track of this present one. I intend to start a personal file of 'studies done in Sweden', and then maybe I'll write a fabulous book, or something.

Sunday Conversation with E

In the church kitchen while I fold bulletins.
E: Am I on time?
Me: For what?
E: For my meeting. Am I on time for my meeting?
Me: Oh yes. You’re on time.
E: You can’t hear me. I’m upstairs in a meeting…Dear Jesus, how are you?...
Ok, Mommy, my meeting is over, I’m going home.
Me: Good bye.

E at home in the evening.
E: You wanna know what I’m going to be when I blow up?
Matt: Yes?
E: I’m gonna be a doll fixer. I’m gonna fix dolls with holes.

Lest you think I'm All That

So, one of the consequences of expecting a fourth baby is that I'm having to quit some of my jobs. At least until I am not fighting down this vile nausea every moment of the day. I have made the difficult and unhappy decision to put my MA program on hold indefinitly and have begun the research to find a kindergarten program that I can deal with. I look on this not as quitting, but as scaling back so as not burn out and end up doing every job badly. I am sure there is some scriptural warrent for this, but being too tired to think of it myself, I invite all of you to provide it for me. Or berate me for not being super woman.

more soup

Well, I'm desperately thawing a large completely frozen block of cauliflower soup in a pan on high heat. Matt phoned from church and wants supper AT 4, gasp, so that he can eat something sensible before going back to church at 5 for a full evening. The children are all coming down with a cold, the cats are needy, and I'm in a shady mood, probably getting sick myself. I've wasted the day, instead of keeping house and catching up with phone calls, sitting on the couch covered in coughing children and reading about Cathy Seipp and the work of our bishops. And then, to top it off, I was distracted by the news that Elizabeth Edwards has cancer reoccurring as well. I wouldn't vote for her husband, I'm not even remotely on that side of the aisle but I grieve for their family and will add them to my prayer list. And on top of it all its gray outside and spitting warm ugly rain. So, I will lay all this aside and start toasting buns to go with soup. And gear up for the fight to make my sick children eat it. They, unfortunately, despise cauliflower soup and so will feel ill used and persecuted. Anyway, its lent. It will be good for them.

Here's what you can do with your "Anglican Communion"

Getting ready for Vestry and Fretting about HOB providing us the 'clarity' we have all so longed for. Still reading various threads. Will post my thoughts when I gather my wits.

Prayers and Thoughts

As many of you know I'm an addicted reader of National Review and National Review Online. When the magazine comes in the mail I irresponsibly stop everything and read it cover to cover and part of my morning routine (and afternoon and evening) includes a long stop at NRO, particularly the Corner.

Anyway, one of my favorite writers, Cathy Seipp, is today in hospital dying of Cancer at what seems to me an impossibly young age. She leaves behind a daughter and thousands of readers and friends around the country and blogosphere. I hope you will pray for her and her daughter today, and if you have a moment, check out some of the things she's written over the past year.

Another Brilliant Example of American Second Rate Journalism

Even before I could choke down my first cup of tea this morning I was annoyed to find, along with Matt, that the Press and Sun has managed to do it again. This is the first and foremost reason why I wouldn't bother to shell out any of my hard earned pennies to receive this paper at home. Bill Moyer consistently and unrelentingly manages to put his spin on a crisis he knows nothing about again and again-from 2003 on. That's right. Poor struggling bigoted traditionalist churches should die as quickly as possible while righteous rights based inclusive denomination should triumph. Now, how can I write an article that will accomplish this necessary outcome.

Trouble is, Mr. Moyer, Good Shepherd isn't the one struggling. We've been growing on a nice upward tick for several years now. Meanwhile, the diocese of CNY has closed several churches, plunged themselves into a serious financial problem, continued to loose membership, and has become utterly directionless. And its not us, as we've said over and over, who are leaving. The Episcopal Church is on the chopping block here. They've got a short number of months to decide what to do. Its fine for Norreen so say, oh, we can't possibly do anything until 2009, but that decision is a Big Unequivocating No to the communion. And the communion will hear it loud and clear.

Yes, surprise, I'm angry. The issues in our church are messy enough without Mr Moyer getting in and stirring the pot. If he's going to bother to do an article, he, like, indeed, the leadership of TEC itself, should stop and discover what it is Christians actually believe, before rejecting it outright.

I will now drink my tea and recover my calm.

Tired, Sick

I had several things I wanted to post about today. For example

Matt: How was your day?
A: Well, um, a man came in the door and then he went out again and he left.
Matt: Who was the man?
A: You.
Matt: Oh.

Or
the fact that I made an enormous pot of cauliflower soup using two full heads of cauliflower, green onions, pancetta, a touch of cream, stock; PLUS fancy bread, white bread, banana muffins, biscuits and banana pancakes for breakfast this morning. OH and baby food From Scratch--carrots, pureed and pees, both of which are now in an ice tray in the fridge. Needless to say, baby did not like the carrots. Tough.

Or
that every time I sat down Bander the cat came and sat on me and wrapped his tail around my neck.

But then, at the end of the day, just as I was trying to gear up to muscle all the children into bed I clicked on Matt's email and saw the hated news of Mark Lawrence. And I must say I am utterly deflated. I was so discouraged when KJS was elected, when GC did nothing, when Camp Allen was so soppy and on and on and on. And yet, AND YET each new horror has the power to discourage me utterly. Its one of those tings where you hope against hope that it will come out all right. And of course, as the threads spin, everyone is calling for Fr. Lawrence to be elected again. But when will enough be enough? When? How long will we stare down the broad wide road of destruction until we turn around and walk through the gate? How long? Meanwhile, I am lathering butter on banana muffins and eating my way into the parousia. Good Night.

Oh the glories of RCI. Matt received this into his inbox this morning. Absolutely made my day.


kelvine kadila
Christian Pentecostal Mission Hqters,
Rue de Triechville,
Abidjan,Ivory coast.
West Africa.

Dear ,
Permit us to inform you that after reading your address in the internet. I became interested in disclosing every thing about myself to you. I am interested in a long term business relationship with you.We are kelvine and.......................

news

I'm sitting here listening to the baby scream and VGR be fawned over by NPR. Thank you so much, Bishop, for everything you do. Thank you so much, Bishop, for everything you are. Thank you for your courage, Bishop. Thank you thank you thank you. Honestly. Glad the screaming baby is making it difficult to hear.

Its already afternoon, because of blighted Daylight Savings, and I am sitting in my bathrobe, on the couch, surrounded by bills and slips of paper with telephone numbers on them. There is glass everywhere because E flung a bowl on the floor this morning while trying to extract a waffel from the toaster. There is syrup lathered over everything because she then ate said waffel with syrup she'd poured herself. There is potting dirt liberally sprinkled over the carpet because, well, I don't know why. I must have been looking the other way.

Into this chaos, mayhem and filth I am happy to announce that we expect Baby Number 4. I know, I know. These kinds of things can be prevented, but not when you practice NFP, which, as we all know, doesn't work. So we're delighted, while the world, the church, and everyone else we know, laughs at us in shock and horror. This news will explain to you the lack in blogging, of late. I haven't been able to think, or stand up, or do work, or anything without fighting down some of the worst nausea to which I've ever been subject.

But I hope you will whole heartedly congratulate me. I'm having my fair share of babies, and someone else's fair share as well.

Tragic

The people who died in this horrible fire were Malian. Welcome to America. "....Soumara rushed to the building in his livery cab, arriving to see his children trapped inside but unable to help them. Five children from another family perished in the blaze while their father was visiting their homeland of Mali in western Africa.
Mousa Majassa, an official of the New York-based High Council for Malians Living Abroad, was headed back to New York after receiving the grim news that nearly half of his 11 children were dead, said council representative Bourema Niambele......Mali, one of the world's poorest countries, has a quarter of its nationals abroad and thousands have risked a sea journey to smuggle themselves into Europe.
David Robinson, who lives in the neighborhood, said the victims seemed to be a close-knit group. "The kids were always playing, either in the yard of their home or on the block with water guns and scooters."

Dead Bones

Matt arrived home safely last night and very helpfully put the children to bed. And then got up with them this morning, so that I could recover some of the hundreds of hours of lost sleep.

I wasted a whole lot of it, in his absence, watching the Jesus Tomb and then part of the Ted Koppel Bit afterwards. Thought the Ted Koppel portion (don't know how to spell his name, embarrassed to say I don't even know who he is) was very good. Especially liked one scholar's characterization of the program as 'DocuPorn' (don't know how to spell that either). Koppel handled the various sides very well, I thought.

Was very disappointed that my adult ed (led by me in Matt's absence) class was not more interested in the program. I came armed with four or five articles and plenty of interesting facts in case of questions and outrage and none were forth coming. When I asked, 'well, why would it matter if we found the bones of Jesus?' I received the correctly pat answer, 'because the resurrection is the cornerstone of our faith and we would not be here without it.' Had all the wind taken out of my sales. Ended up reading the story of Gideon and arguing about whether or not it is OK to test God. It was actually delightful to see how far this group has come in faith and knowledge. Two years ago this would have been a devastating event. Now, I don't think any of them even planned to watch it.

Surfacing for Air

Here is my sermon from this morning. I, as usual, intended to be on the computer all week and write lots of interesting things about my class etc. But getting Matt ready to go to Portland and then coping in his absence AND getting ready for Sunday took it out of me. I didn't have anything left over by the time I got to my computer in the evenings. Matt is coming home tomorrow so maybe we'll be able to achieve some small amount of order. As it stands now the house is a complete wreck, I have bills and papers piled high and I'm sitting flaked out with my three kiddos, watching the Pond's Big Mouth Bass for the third time today. If any of you have extra prayers left over, you could spend them on me getting through the next week.

The Narrow Door
As you know Matt is out of town for a few days. This has been one of those difficult weeks where we passed like ships in the night. I arrived home Monday after spending the night in Chicago because of bad weather, and then Matt left Thursday at 4 in the morning. We spent Tuesday and Wednesday passing jobs off to each other. After he had got on the plane I read these haunting words from today’s gospel. ‘Lord, will only a few be saved?’ ‘Yes’ says Jesus, or rather, ‘Strive to enter through the narrow door. For many will seek to enter and will not be able.’ ‘I don’t want to go through the narrow door’ I said later when Matt called. ‘I’m tired, I don’t have the energy to shove my fat soul through a small door’. ‘You don’t have a fat soul,’ he said. ‘Well, maybe not fat,’ I said, ‘but not particularly lean.’ So that’s what we’ve got to go through this morning—a Narrow Door. So lets see what kind of door it is and how best we may go through.

First of all, where are we? Right, on the way to Jerusalem. Jesus is taking his time wending his way there. Although he made many trips to Jerusalem in his life, at this point in the Gospel he is on his way to his passion—his trial, death and resurrection. But he is taking his time. As he goes he stops to preach, teach, heal and answer questions. Including the question we get this morning, ‘Lord, will only a few be saved?’ The question, doubtless, is brought forth by the kind of teaching and preaching that Jesus has been dishing out to date. If you flip back through the few chapters before 13 you will notice that Jesus has been giving some clear ideas about what the Kingdom of Heaven is like. As the days go by the picture gets starker. Most likely, those who are hanging around listening to him have begun to examine themselves and wonder whence they are headed. And they have reason to be worried. When the question is asked Jesus paints the bleak picture we just heard, 25When once the master of the house has risen and shut the door, and you begin to stand outside and to knock at the door, saying, 'Lord, open to us,' then he will answer you, 'I do not know where you come from.'

So what is this door? How do we go through?

Well, first and foremost, the Narrow Door is the door to eternal life. The door is Jesus himself. In his own body, his own flesh, Jesus is the road, the door, and the destination. He is the Way the Truth and the Life. This is true historically. Jesus is God the Son incarnate, that means, down on earth here with us in a body so that we can know who he is. And in this body he suffered death on our behalf. Before Jesus, the door to eternal life was slammed shut by our sin and rebellion. In his death, and ultimately in his resurrection the door was opened again. It is true spiritually. When you ‘seek God’s face’ as the psalmist says, and he, through the Holy Spirit, dwells in you. And you accept his sacrifice as the forgiveness of your sins. So he is the door, but he is also the destination. As you get to know Jesus, especially through Scripture and in Prayer, you become like him—his perfection is written in your heart. You are able to love like Jesus does, live like Jesus lives, pray like Jesus prays. So the door is Jesus himself, and life forever with him. And you have to go through him. There is no other way. Jesus says it clearly in the gospel. If you don’t know him and he doesn’t know you, you can stand and knock and knock but the door won’t open. Its not enough to be good, to come to church, to hope for the best, to go on various spiritual journey’s of self discovery. The Narrow Door is first and foremost Jesus. If you want to be with God and live forever, you have to go through Jesus.

Second, the Narrow Door is a disciplined Christian Life. Most of you here already know Jesus. You have the Holy Spirit in you. You are citizens of heaven. You seek God daily. You have gone through the door into eternal life. For you, and for me, the Narrow Door is the opportunity, the chance, to live an ordered disciplined life. It is narrow because discipline, surprise, is always the harder choice. It is a lot easier not to work hard, not to pray and study, not to do the things set out by God to do, or as we pray, ‘to walk in the good works prepared by God for us’. I’ve been struggling with the discipline of the Narrow Door lately. I haven’t managed to keep up with all the daily things I said I was going to do. I was going to read the bible, pray, spend some serious time on my cat box, and keep my kitchen clean, as a bare minimum. Well, if you came over to my house you would see that I’m not anywhere near my goals. Nevertheless, every morning, I have the chance to start over. Why discipline? Why order? Because in ordering and discipline, the Holy Spirit has an excellent opportunity to work in you to make you more like Christ. It’s essentially a matter of priorities. When you have things in order, God first, then your family, then your work, Not your work, then yourself, then your family, then God, when you have things in order God can really work in you to accomplish his purpose and his kingdom. So the Narrow Door is the door of discipline in daily life. Go ahead, go through it.

Third, the Narrow Door is a Door of Sacrifice. Obviously, discipline and sacrifice go together. It takes some self sacrifice to become disciplined, to maintain order. It cannot be achieved by sitting in a comfy chair eating bon bons or spending the day playing golf or video games. It requires work and giving of yourself. But very frequently, in the Christian life, we are given an extra opportunity, an extra chance to undergo and make Sacrifices, sometimes big ones. This Sacrifice is a Narrow Door. It might best be likened to being born. I don’t remember being born. Do you? That’s part of the mercy of birth, right, not remembering. I say mercy, because I’ve given birth to three babies and let me just say that its not piece of cake. Certainly I, as the one giving birth, suffered a great deal. But so did my babies. It is no easy matter being born. Its painful, it takes a long time. Mother, child, doctor, husband and God all work together to bring the child into a place he and she doesn’t want to be. And yet, obviously, being born is required for rich full life. You can’t just not be born. And in the Christian life, you won’t be able to escape Sacrifice. God, to make you fuller and richer and stronger will either take things away from you that you think you can’t live without, or he will ask you to do a job that you don’t think you can do, or to give of yourself in some way that you never imagined. The ultimate sacrifice, of course, is Jesus on the cross. The pain and suffering there were necessary in bringing about the beauty of eternal life. We get to make smaller ones. And when we do, we grow, on the other side of the door there is no Narrowness, no Leanness. On the other side of the door is wide complete unending joy.

Where ever you are, whatever is being asked of you, go through the door this morning. Let Jesus himself carry you through. Do not be afraid. Abundant life is on the other side. Amen.

delays, delay, more delays

I am finally home, O Best Beloved, after more that 24 hours in transit. I left St. Louis at 10am on Sunday-well, I went to the airport at 10am, which is enough alternate universe to no longer be considered real place-and only got home 3 hours ago. I was delayed and delayed with snow going into Chicago and then, in Chicago, I waited for 4 hours before my flight was finally cancelled. Knowing, of course, the whole time, that the flight would be cancelled, because the snow was moving swiftly east. Finally, when the flight was cancelled, and I reached the front of the line to reschedule, I came unglued (for real) and bawled my way into a really nice hotel room on the dime of the airline. Other people were being handed cots but I was visibly beyond my limit, baby attached, dark circles under the eyes etc. The flight person's real charity actually made me cry more by that point. It is at these delicate moments I am supremely grateful to be female. A lot of men looked exhausted too but none of them had babies and they would have looked foolish weeping. I did notice that as it got hotter in the terminal a few of them, men that is, began to yell at each other, somewhat in jest but not that much. Its not comfortable, being so many people packed together in one place, all very frustrated, no outside air, no outside light, basically powerless to effect the desired outcome. I'm surprised everyone else was keeping it together. I was given one other nice gift, along with the hotel room. Waiting so many hours in line I met an interesting man. He felt bad for me and offered to carry my bag. He asked me where I was going. Told me, in a clueless way, that I could stay with him (First Red Flag) as he was only 10 minutes from the airport. Told me, when I looked shocked, that he was a pastor. Oh, I said, that's wonderful. My husband is a pastor. Are you married? No, he said. What church are you with? I asked. Um, the New Church, he said (Second Red Flag). Oh, I said, the New Church. I've never heard of that. What are some of your core tenets? Um, he said, we believe in the 10 commandments, and a lot of other things. What other things? I asked. Oh, he said, there's so much.(Confirmation of Weirdness) A little research divulges that the New Church is the strange invention of one Emanuel Swedenborg who promises all kinds interesting non trinitarian "christian" stuff. I am still exploring the website, having been offline for so long. Anyway, after a good long sleep I will be back to tell you all about my class and all the other things on my mind.

view from the hall

So I really did not mean to take a whole week off posting. But I've been in class the last few days and of course, when I arrived, I was not able to get online in my room (still am not). So I surf quietly during class, and do email, and skype, and today am finally and quietly trying to post. Not that I have amazing things to say. For those of you who don't know, I'm getting a second MA from Aquinas Institute of Theology in Catechesis of the Good Shepherd. Aquinas, as you would know from its name, is Catholic and fairly liberally so. I'm in the middle of Intro to Theology with a plain closed Dominican nun. So far we've covered feminism, liberationism, fundamentalism and a couple of other isms. There's also been some nice digs about protestantism and the reformation. But what most sticks in my mind at this point is the stretching of the Immaculate Conception to undermine and erode away at the doctrine of original sin. I did not quite understand what she was talking about and need to dig around to find out. If you have heard to this please jump and let me know. Oh, break, good, I'm starving.

A closing thought

We had more than a small blessing today--besides the communique which was far and away better than I imagined. Our neighbors came by this morning and asked if they could take our two oldest (not that old--4 and 2) out for a 'fun thing' and to lunch. Then they came back in the afternoon and played hide and seek, mother may I, and Simone says until it was time to go to bed. Otherwise I would have felt really neglectful--unable to tear myself away from SF but feeling guilty about it. So really, God is provident and good, both in the small and the great and so I will go to bed tonight really praying for the converted salvation of KJS, who has harder days before her than she has probably ever hoped for or imagined.

More in clarity and hope tomorrow. This is the first night in a whole week that we get to go to bed before 2 in the morning. Greg, Kendall, Sarah, if you call now, I won't be responsible for the fall out!

Well, I'm exhausted. I've moved from this spot on my bed 4 times today--once for toast, twice to change the baby, and then for toast again. My eyes are burning. I'm so glazed over that I feel no emotion whatsoever about what has transpired. Rationally I know that all will be well for the following reasons
1. Matt, Kendall, Sarah, Baby Blue etc are very happy and relieved
2. Susan Russell, Fr. Jake etc are very angry and disappointed
3. There is a deadline within this year
4. The deadline is one TEC will be absolutely loath to meet
5. There is continued safe harbor for the time being
However, my rational joy cannot, at this moment, overcome my weariness. My life and the life of my family has been lived out in the shadow of heresy and dissent and trouble. I long for a swift and clean conclusion to this mess. But instead I've been given another six months to wait. And so I will. I will wait on the Lord. And I will pray. And I will rest my weary eyes.

the beginning of the end

I'm over on Standfirm hitting refresh. As you can imagine I have a thousand things to say about 1. The election of KJS to the Communion Standing Committe and 2. The covenant draft that has just been released. But none of them are good and so until the communique comes out at 3pm I'm not going to be over here writing anything. As far as I can see, we're looking at the end of any kind of unified world wide anglicanism. What an absolute total mess, and disappointment.

A Defensive Posture

My children did eat today. In spite of the communion being on the edge of shambles. Matt gave them each a pancake (made from scratch, by the way, from pancake day) lathered in jam at 6 am when they woke up. I made them each a perfectly cooked soft boiled egg with toast at 9 for breakfast after morning prayer. They each had a chocolate covered pretzel at 10:30 for a snack. For lunch I made them peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. The bread I made earlier in the week from scratch (see my fancy bread recipe from the fall)--rye, whole wheat, millet, flax seed, walnuts, etc. The peanut butter doesn't have any sugar in it. And they each ate a large apple. And now its supper time so I'd better think of the next thing.

The Kennedy Family in Communion Chaos

Me: What is Daddy doing?
Emma: He’s talking to Hendle Berman.
Me: Who?
Emma: Hendal Bemerman.
Me: Oh. I see. Can he get you lunch?
Emma: Um um no. Daddy said there’s a bemergency.
Me: What kind of emergency?
Emma: Daddy said there’s a cummun bemergency.
Me: So he really can't get you lunch?
Emma: No, he said that he has to write a persponse about it.

3 seconds later

Matt: Anne! Anne! Anne! Are you reading Stand firm? Why are the children talking to me? Anne! Anne!

Rearing its Ugly Head

I ran into someone very briefly at Mere Anglicanism who expressed surprise that WO was coming up so often--several questions were asked of the scholars panel and Common Cause panel about the issue and what sort of common life we can expect to be facing in the near future, when, and if, the dust settles.
'I thought it was a done deal', he said.
'Oh no. Its right there under the surface, ready to emerge the moment we have an inkling of calm,' I said.
I didn't get this sense from the sources one would expect--Bishop Iker for example. When he spoke about it he was extraordinarily gracious and thoughtful.
I got it from listening in sneakily to conversations at the conference, from things Matt said (Matt knows more about everything than I'm allowed to know), and, Of Course, from the online conversations that have gone on online over the last few years. Indeed, it resurfaced this morning, here, on Stand Firm.
Its hard, for me anyway, to think that we will resolve one set of problems and then jump immediately into another hot pan of dissension and division. I'd like to think that we could do the work of theological reflection and reception in a reasonable and calm manner and that both those of us ladies who are ordained and those Anglo Catholics who oppose us utterly could seek the truth together. Much in the way we've wanted revisionists to do any kind of theological work whatsoever. But I must say, when the rhetoric is dismissive and condescending on the AC side its hard to want to be conciliatory. I'm not by any means suggesting we 'dialogue' and 'get to know each other better'. Its entirely a theological matter, one which, if we seek God's face, will become clear. In the meantime I'd like to see more gracious charity from you Anglo catholics. You may not recognize my orders, and may I think your understanding of the sacraments is highly problematic, but we can both agree that we're in a Christian body and we're both trying to go towards God, rather than the revisionists opposite direction.
I can understand the worry. If two co-equal provinces are recognized in the US and the AMiA and Continuing Churches are 'encouraged' to join the new one without anything said or resolved about WO then essentially you've managed to shove it to the back burner. Which, if you're against it, is a very bad thing.
Which brings me back to my original point. I don't think there is real cause to worry. Once the dust settles WO won't long stay on low heat. It will come up. It will be debated and examined. The Lord will, as so many have noted, provide. And guide. And direct. And all that other stuff.

desperate for news

Matt, after making me the most divine omelette
eggs, cheese, some sort of sausage, perfect consistency and flavor
has gone out for a walk. There's no way I'm going outside in this wretched cold. So instead I'm sitting here hitting refresh on T19 and Stand Firm. I guess I should do my homework or clean the house. But its just so hard to get away from this machine. Sigh

another thing

As we go into next week let me also just remind you (those of you who were at the blogger's dinner at Mere Anglicanism) of my One Prediction regarding Tanzania.

I put my little all on Akinola telling KJS in a very nice and Christian way to go boil her head, or something to that effect, either by letter, or statement or in an interview or personally. Whatever the outcome of the communion, that's my prediction.

I'm a blogger. I can predict.

Great Expectations

Our house is covered in wire and video equipment. Matt is every other second on the phone to Greg or Sarah or on IM. As I sit here the bringgg of Greg punctuates each line that I write. We are saturating ourselves in technology and news and busyness, fending off, at least for me, the looming anxiety of the days ahead.

Because face it, we hope.
We can lower our expectations. We can analyze and comment and make predictions and snap at each other. We can push the deadline out—Lambeth, another meeting, another statement, another day.
But in the end, our hearts in our throats, and we hope.

If we didn’t hope, we wouldn’t be paying attention. If we didn’t hope, we wouldn’t be praying desperately. If we didn’t hope, we wouldn’t be reading and commenting. If we didn’t hope, Greg wouldn’t have put up such a fancy new face on Stand Firm.

We hope because in the end God is sovereign, and just and big. And he will do whatever he wants. And based on past behavior we know that God tolerates heresy and sin and wickedness only for a time before he lets his wrath flow down like water. So I say hope. Let your expectations run high. God is in charge.

In Memorium

I went, today, with my three little ones, to the funeral of my Great Uncle Santo Joseph Feldi (for whom, I am very frustrated to say, I could not find any sensible picture). He was born December 21, 1915 and died February 6, 2007 at the grand age of 91. I ask your prayers for my Great Aunt Kathryn Feldi who said three times to me today, "We do not sorrow as those who have no hope." The pictures here were taken at the funeral home and the lunch afterwards. For you family out there, I saw Peggy and Lou (both in very good health), Cathy and Gayle, Charlie, Carlie, several of Cathy's children and all the ladies from Auntie Kay's prayer group.

The service itself was simple and straightforward. We sang Great is Thy Faithfulness, Praise the Savior and Amazing Grace and listened to the Lord's Prayer. The pastor gave a message which I missed due to the children. Wished you all could have been there.

Cats

So I might have mentioned that we have three cats and a dog. The dog, Maggie, belongs to Matt and fortunately sleeps on the floor. She resents me, having been the love of Matt's life before I came along.

The first cat belongs to me. She is very very fat and doesn't have any claws. She sleeps by my head under the covers spread out the long way so that I am squished and uncomfortable all night, trying to accommodate her, Matt and sometimes the baby.

Then E has a cat named Frances--a beautiful black and white long haired kitty who was called Hitler before we got her. We didn't know why she was called Hitler. We thought it was because of her markings--she looks a little like him and there's a certain quality in her eyes that has caused Matt to remark, at least once a day, 'Francis thinks about Murder all the time'. And she's beginning to be pushy. Matt brings me tea in the morning, about 6 am, and he has to bring a large pitcher of milk and a saucer because Frances has to immediately have milk poured out or she will knock the pitcher over. This makes me unhappy because by rights my cat should have her milk first, being older and fatter. But without claws she is unable to secure her rights.

Then we have my mother's cat, Banderleigh (her spelling), all black, silky long hair. I gave him to my mother for her birthday, in hopes that he would go to Nairobi and live a happy and interesting life. However, terrorism and air travel being what it is, he lives with us and waits day and night for his beloved to return. In the meantime he is our only lap cat and is desperately jealous of the baby. If you hold the baby, you have also hold Bander, preferably next to your face, under your chin.

Why do I bring this all up?
Because last night ALL THREE CATS SLEPT ON MY BED. I have slowly let Bander join us as long as he doesn't disturb my cat. So last night, he came and slept on my back. I managed to look up, in a moment of wakefulness and saw black. But when I managed to really get a good look, I saw Frances glaring at me from my feet. So that's three, three cats. One mushed into my pillow, one on my back and another on my feet. My only thought is that it is very cold. Or maybe they are lying in wait for my destruction. I don't know. I didn't sleep very well. And every part of me hurts now, from having slept so strangely.

A little more KJS

"Every time Episcopal Presiding Bishop Katharine Jefferts Schori dons her personalized vestments, there's a vision of sunrise.
Colors of the "new dawn," cited so often by the prophet Isaiah, are sewn into her personalized mantle and bishop's hat — an orange glow rises from a green hem to a dawn-blue band below purple heavens.
Jefferts Schori herself stands for a new day in her church:"

It really is all about clothes. Say whatever you want about the Millennium Goals or taking God out of a small box (and putting him in even smaller one) but at the end of the day, if your vestments themselves signal a ‘new dawn’, ‘a new day’ in the church, then essentially we are looking at a ‘divinization’ of KJS herself. KJS is the center of this ‘new dawn’. She whirls and twirls her way through the church, diffusing light, confusing theology, remaking the great reality of God into herself. This is no mere heresy, this is a cohesive, cogent alternative religion with a god at its center dressed in the colors of the sky.

my sermon for this morning

Matt and I have over the past few months, been watching Top Chef. Anyone seen it?
It was a cooking competition—
every week there’s a challenge and someone is eliminated.
The last person standing gets a lot of money and the title Top Chef. The last episode was last week.
We would stay up late on Wednesday night to watch the new episode and then would watch it through the week as it was replayed
over and over until the new episode came out.
I liked it at first but I got tired of watching it over and over
and then having to stay up late.
But all the repetition did allow me to notice something interesting. Under the stress of competition,
everyone eventually became a jerk.
But the real jerk,
the person no one could stand at all was a young,
carefully quaffed, jerk named Marcel.
He cooked very interesting food,
he frequently won the challenges,
but nobody liked him. Why?
Because week after week he sat in the little interview time and said,
‘I make good food.
I have every confidence in my own abilities,
I’m a brilliant guy, I’m going to win,
I’m a better chef than everyone here,
hands down, I’m the best.’
Well, given that we were dealing with a competition,
this behavior was not out of bounds.
Other contestants said these things
although not Every week.
But gradually, I mean,
we should have been reading the bible
instead of watching this over and over,
it occurred to me that this bravado,
this, I have full confidence in myself, I can do it, I’m cool,
while a very basic American attitude, is hugely problematic.
Matt tells me it’s the football equivalent
of dancing around the end zone
making sure everyone knows it was you that made the touch down.

Open your Bibles to Judges chapter 6.
Anybody know why this book is called ‘Judges’?
After the people of Israel left Egypt
and went into the Promised Land,
what were they supposed to do?
Right, push out, by force, all of the people who lived there.
This was for two reasons,
one to exact the full extent of God’s wrath
on the Canaanites who did not worship God
and were given over to some vile religious practices.
And two, so that Israel could inhabit the land,
living peacefully and showing God’s glory and light to the whole world.
But it required military conquest
which is hard for our modern sensibilities.
We don’t like the idea of God commanding war,
so many of us don’t bother to read the books of Joshua and Judges.
Thing is, the people of Israel didn’t really like war and conquest
any more than we do.
So, when they went into the Promised Land,
instead of obeying God and going to war,
they just sort of didn’t.
They went to war and defeated some of the nations.
But they left a lot of others alone.
And then, instead of just leaving them alone,
they intermarried with some of them
and started worshipping their gods.
That’s what is called,
when you’re reading through the whole book of Judges,
‘doing what is evil in the site of the Lord’.
Taking on false gods.
Not being obedient.
Not worshipping God and God alone.
So the people would do what was evil in the eyes of the Lord
and then God would let these same people who had led them astray,
he would let them oppress the people of Israel.
They would loose in some major battle
and have to pay tribute and other unpleasantness.
Israel would be in captivity for a generation or so,
then they would remember God,
they would feel terrible,
they would cry out for help
and God would raise up a judge, or a leader,
to come and help them win.
So, here, in chapter 6,
we find that Israel has done what was evil in the eyes of the Lord
and that the Midianites have over powered them.
In particular, the Midianites lived off the fruit of the Israelites’ labor.
Israel would plant crops and raise live stalk,
and just when it was time to harvest and collect the fruit of their labor,
the Midianites would rush in and take it all,
leaving the Israelites destitute and hungry.
Now, just as a quick aside,
why do you think God would pick this kind of persecution?
Well,
if the Israelites are worshiping other gods
they’re also praying to them for this grain
and thanking them when they get it.
But who really provides?
Not the Midianite gods, God does.
So the people are hungry and brought low
and they finally remember to cry out to God
and God hears their cry and he raises up the Judge, Gideon.
Look with me in verse 11.
“Now the Angel of the Lord, came and sat under the terebinth or oak tree that belonged to Joash the Abiezrite…while his son Gideon was beating out wheat in the winepress to hide it from the Midianites”.
What do you notice right away?
Right, Gideon is in the winepress, beating out grain.
A winepress would have been closed in and hot
whereas normally you would want a wide open space to beat out grain, well aerated, where the wind could lift the chaff
and blow it away from the good produce.
Beating grain in a wine press would have been uncomfortable and hot.
So, Gideon is hiding.
Either he’s a coward,
he doesn’t want to do it where anyone will see him,
or he’s very shrewd.
Probably a little bit of both.
Verse 12, “the angel of the Lord appeared to him and said,
‘The Lord is with you, O mighty man of valor.’”
I’ve always thought the angel of the Lord
was maybe being a little bit sarcastic here,
or having a good joke, to call Gideon ‘A mighty Man of Valor’.
Why, well, he’s hiding…he’s not being valorous or mighty.
And he immediately starts complaining.
Well, if God is really with us,
then why are all these bad things happening to us?
And he goes on.
Where are all the great deeds of past generations?
Why haven’t we had any miraculous signs like crossing the Red Sea?
Why did you bring us all this way
just to let us be oppressed by the hand of Midian?
Let’s just pause here a minute.
What is the cardinal rule of parish or church life?
Don’t complain.
What happens if you complain?
Whoever you complain to, especially if it’s the pastor,
will automatically assume that you are volunteering for the job
to fix whatever it is you’re mad about.
And we see the justification for that here in the scriptures.
Gideon complains, he whines and what does the Lord say?
Verse 14, “Go in this might of yours and save Israel from the hand of Midian; do not I send you?”
There you have it.
If you’ve noticed that there’s a problem,
You can be part of the solution.
Or, to put it another way,
God can use you and he will. Regardless of who you are.
You can’t be too young,
or too old,
or too weak,
or too sinful,
or too afraid,
or too unskilled,
or too busy,
or too overwhelmed
or too tired
or too broken.
Whoever you are, God can use you to do the work he has planned.
Where ever you are in life, whatever you have going on,
God has plans for you. He has a job for you to do.
And it doesn’t matter if you don’t believe him,
if you don’t have confidence in yourself.
All the better, in fact.
How do we know this? From the next couple of verses.
Gideon, instead of saying
‘Ok, bring it on, let’s defeat these Midianites,
I can do it, I’m strong,
I have every confidence in myself to do this thing’,
says, really,
but I’m from the smallest and weakest clan, Manasseh,
and I’m the least or smallest or weakest in my father’s house.
He means, in other words, to disqualify himself.
He would like someone else to save Israel.
He would like to continue in his unhappy winepress.
But what is Gideon not seeing?
That what disqualifies him in his own eyes—
his weakness,
his fear,
his total lack of standing in his family and nation
all of these qualify him for work in the Kingdom of God.
He is particularly chosen by God
because of those things that will not get him ahead in the world.
Why?
Because God wants the glory.
Verse 16, “And the Lord said to him, ‘But I will be with you, and you shall strike the Midianites as one man’
I will do the work, I will receive the glory. I will save you.

Let’s apply this quickly.
First of all, however much we talk and shout,
none of us are strong enough really,
to do the work in front of us on our own.
For all his posturing and shouting Marcel,
from our Top Chef example earlier, was not really as great as all that. He ended up loosing the competition because he was so awful to his sous chefs that they helped him loose, essentially, in the last round. That gets us to the heart of the problem.
We sin. We are weak.
If we try to do the work in front of us on our own power,
more than likely we will fail, we will do a bad job, we will come up short.
On the other hand,
if we rely on the power of God to direct, guide and strengthen us,
we will come out victorious
Two
We, as human beings, scare easy.
We put up with a lot of discomfort and unhappiness
Thinking that we are too small or insignificant for God to use.
This is false humility—I’m too fearful, I’m too weak for God to use me. That’s a lie.
God can use you because he will give you what you need
and then you will give him the glory for what he has done in your life.
Three
God is here,
now,
today
and whatever you’re dealing with,
whatever you’re going through,
he loves you,
he has plans for you,
he has strength for you.
Lean on him.
Give him your small, broken efforts and he will transform them.
He will make you into a mighty one of valor, victorious in his power.
Amen.

My Contemporary Situation

Well, I'm sorry to say it, but I'm exhausted. I know I raved and bragged about the baby sleeping through the night, but it turned out to be a big cheap lie. He did sleep, about 2 or 3 nights, and then was back to screaming again. Thing is, the sucker weighs 15 lbs. There is absolutely no reason on earth or in heaven for him to eat his pudgy way through the night. So now, for many nights, we have lain awake, staring out the window at the cloudy, blue dark (as Aedan calls it) night sky, listening to him scream his guts out.

In other words, I'm tired. I'm short tempered. I can't think of anything interesting to write. I haven't, horrors of horrors, even been able to finish reading the features on Stand Firm without dozing off. On top of all this, I'm supposed to be reading reams of Bernard Lonergan, a Catholic Theologian of whom I had not heard before but am now hearing plenty. To put it in a nut shell, Lonergan, rather than seeing theology as an intersection between Tradition and the Contemporary Situation (that is us), first to disentangle the two, then to put them back together, instead puts all his stock in the theologian. As long as the theologian is 'reasonable, intelligent, reasoning and in love with God', that theologian will come up with good and true theology. Either way I think you end up in a ditch. Who can really trust the individual theologian to be sensible? And certainly, when you mix Tradition and Contemporary Situation together you can get any amount of Muck. God help us all. Neither of them deal with Matt's epistemological challenge to, God Helping Us, OVERCOME KANT. They haven't done it. Barth hasn't done. Nobody has done it! Rise up. Someone. And make it possible for us to know things as they really are in themselves. Until then, I will go and lie sleeplessly, knowing that the screaming down the hall, is, in fact, coming from a live, red, slightly cross eyed but mostly very cute baby. Goodnight.

some information from my mom-request for prayer

Please pray for the families of these women and for the countless victims of violence in Nairobe. There was another carjacking the day these women died. The regional director of CARE was killed. The police tracked down and killed two of the jackers but for the most part, these kinds of violences go unprosecuted. Please pray for the safety both of expats and Kenyans.

The Day is Passed

Matt is asleep in his chair so I need to shut down and continue this tomorrow.
Hope you enjoy the notes etc.

A Collect for Compline
Keep Watch, Dear Lord, with those who work or watch or weep this night, and give your angels charge of those who sleep. Tend the sick, Lord Christ, give rest to the weary, bless the dying, soothe the suffering, pity the afflicted, shield the joyous, and all for your love’s sake. Amen.

Arch Bishop Nazir Ali's Talk

Church of the Household: the emphasis is on likeness. We know that women played a prominent role in supporting and building up the House Church.

Church of the Town: emphasis on unlikeness rather than likeness. Had to develop rules about mixed gatherings.

Churches in Clusters: groups in Asia, Macedonia, Judah etc who knew one another and supported one another. Churches that were mutually interdependent. “Ecclesiology of Anglicans, if it had one, would be Cyprianic.”

Universal Church: the Church described in Ephesians and Colossians. This is not just an assembly but a greater reality.

What happens to this model in the Anglican Dispensation?
The Local Church or church of the Town might be the Parish Church. The Parish gives the church a commitment to the local community. Anglicans have traditionally, in the parish model, been “incarnational” in a good way. Now it has become over emphasized. Then there is the Nation (the church in clusters). During the Reformation people were becoming conscious of the nation-state. Now in Europe they are moving beyond this model.

But what about the church in the home?
And what about the Universal Church?
1. Appeal to Scripture-Christians unite around it.
2. Constant appeal to Antiquity-don’t have to believe in anything the early church didn’t believe.
3. General Council

What now? In Britain we are thinking of ‘Fresh Expressions of Church’ (a new phrase that is becoming worn out). People are finding significance in networks, not locations. Can Church be expressed this way for Anglicans?
People usually come to faith in like groups.
The church in the home is a church of likeness. You have people like one another being in church provided this is not the only way they are in church. The like but also the unlike. The emergence of the Anglican Communion—need to learn again how o be a world wide church (painfully-as in the Reformation). We have four Instruments of Unity-the ABC, Lambeth, Primates, ACC. But I do wonder whether they are enough. As Anglicans realize the demands of Catholicity we will need more.

…..missed a section whispering to my neighbor in the pew….

Christianity is different from Islam which is Arabic Bound. Translatability is at the center of Anglicanism—every church orders its life according to the culture in which it is set. (Tyndale’s translation created the English we know). But there is also a dark side to translatability—Captivity. That it is so translated that they can do what they like with it. The gospel becomes captive to them and not available to others.

Why did the Reformation not produce world mission while the Counter Reformation did? Possible Answers: Mobility. Politics. Dispensationalism (The Apostles evangelized the world and if God wants any more Christians, he can make them himself). Eventually the churches of the reformation came to a sense of world mission. The tendency of Anglicans to capitulate to the culture is rooted here.

What is Christian and Ecclesial integrity? Nothing but recognizing, receiving and passing on the apostolic witness. Receiving: if you loose it, get it back. How do you settle what is apostolic? Appeal to the Scriptures by the Church. The Rule of Faith tells us what is Scripture and Vice Versa. Of course, this requires study.

Inculturation—how do we relate to people.
Contextualization—how do we relate to a people’s social, political situation.
Are there any limits?
1. The nature of the gospel itself. It cannot compromise its nature.
2. The need for fellowship between different kinds of Christians.
Talk about limits is too “negative” for some, they like to say “criteria” instead of “limits”. Make sure the mind of Christ is central, the trajectories of scripture.

Unity and Diversity
The Anglican came come into being different ways.
-coincidentally (along with the spread of English)
-Evangelical: in the 18th century a group decided that world mission was God’s will for them. They were also concerned with temporal needs. “The right spiritual relations” not the transmission of culture.
--Tractarian world missions: In Tanzania, for example, there were Bible Church and UMCA churches. Now they are all together in the same province.

Is there anything that holds it together?
Huntington’s Anglican System (worship, vestments) verses Anglican Principle (the duty of the local church to become the catholic church in that place. Chicago Lambeth Quadrilateral—very important ecumenically, but also to understand ourselves. If there is diversity there can also be unity. But it has to be real diversity. That is why the instruments are not enough. The primacy of scripture has to be combined with effective teaching. There isn’t now, that’s the problem.

Dialogue and Dissent
Dialogue: Anglicans learn more about themselves talking to other Christians.
Dissent: there are traditions of dissent in Anglicanism (Puritans, the Non Jurors, the Oxford Movement).

Mission and Movement
Real creativity comes from movements—the monastic movement, the missionary movement etc. Need movements in the church to keep it alive and not a replication of institutions.

Bishop Duncan's Address

Text: 1 Corinthians 15:58 “Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.”

We will Begin at the End, the end of each of Paul’s addresses to the Church.

Anglicans, along with CS Lewis, have always held to a Mere Christianity—what, in looking at the whole, is most essential. We can push this even to Mere Paul—not so much looking at Paul’s teaching, but is instruction, his last instructions to ordinary people in each letter. At the end of each letter is a sort of summary of the exquisite gospel of Jesus Christ.

In 1 Corinthians 15:58 Paul has just outlined his glorious theology to resurrection—the resurrection of Jesus and our participation in it. Then he says, Therefore, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.
This is for us, in our time.
1. Be steadfast: steady, rock solid in your believing.
2. Immovable in behavior, always confirmed to love in Christ. Example-Jenkins asked a recent gathering whether or when it was that there was an ABC worth killing. Not since 1645. But there are many Bishops in Africa worth killing. Are we?
3. Abounding-always doing the work knowing that it is not in vain. Abiding. Trusting. Knowing that nothing for him is in vain. (Trust Abide Know). Jenkins again-what is the language of Islam? Arabic. What is the language of Christianity? Translation. From the moment of Pentecost translation has been going on. So that the people can understand and then to abound in the works of the Lord.

So not just Mere Christianity. Mere Paul-forgiven, called to ministry in a very different day. After the Sublime Teaching there is a simple exhortation for ordinary Christians.

Therefore, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain. Praise be now and forever. Amen.

Charleston

Charleston is beautiful but I found it dark. It was amazing to walk several times a day past a low one story brick building with no windows to speak up of and many sections barred off. We eventually found a sign on it that said ‘Black Market’. I immediately and naively assumed that meant the sale of illicit and illegal goods. But of course, why would you put a sign on it. However, Matt looked dubiously at me when I asked what the market was for and I was shocked out of my ignorance. Now this long low market has a lot of little shops in it selling a variety of things from jewelry to baskets to, amazingly, a lot of African artifacts.

We stayed at the Holiday Inn down town and walked to St. Philip’s Church every morning past, among other things, a key shop in front of which there were a lot of keys and locks planted in the sidewalk cement. We ate both nights at an “Irish” pub which sold a lot of various fried fishes, sea food, burgers and the very good Salmon Spinach Salad. Other than that we saw nothing of Charleston except the airport (brown, horrible ceiling, more brown). I hope this won’t be my last visit to the real South.

Weak Pathetic Excuses

As usual, nothing ever turns out the way I plan. The first big unpleasantness that I hadn’t accounted for when signing up for Mere Anglicanism was that the conference was held in a place not wired for internet. Matt and I spent nearly two whole days off line which was probably good for the states of our souls (perhaps we became more holy) but was very frustrating. I took copious notes and shot video of Edith Humphrey and two panels—the Scholars Panel and the Common Cause Panel. The notes will be appearing shortly (as in this evening) here but the video you will have to wait for Greg to edit, fix all my mistakes, and post on Stand Firm.

It must be confessed that Matt and I missed Morning Prayer on Friday and then were unable to attend anything on Saturday, having to get home in time to prepare for church today. So hopefully others will relate their delights and experiences of that day. Let me also complain bitterly that I missed the first part of Nazir Ali’s first talk because there wasn’t terribly enough time between Evensong and the talk and Greg and Matt decided that their Shrimp and Grits were more important. So I bolted a very nice Salmon Spinach Salad and ran over on my own (hoping to tape but there was no particularly good place to set up) and took notes.

I’m going to post notes separately and also a shortish account of my overall impressions. I am so grateful that I got to go and delighted to have met so many interesting people.

Well, I lied, I thought I was going to be filming but instead I worshipped the Lord in the beauty of holiness and then took notes of the talk afterward. I will have them to post tomorrow.

Let me just say that Choral Evensong is one of the most beautiful things ever to experience. The choir--girls and boys--was ethereal and amazing, Bp. Duncan's talk was uplifting, the readings were beautiful and the hymns like the flowing of water. Evensong alone was reason enough to come.

You find here, above, a picture of my old shoes and my new sensible shoes.

And, hopefully, lots more to come tomorrow. I've met many famous people--the fabulous and amazing Greg Griffeth, Ashley Null, and Michael Howell. And of course I've seen lots of other famous people--Kendall Harmon, Bishop Duncan, Bishop Nazir Ali, Leander Harding, and Edith Humphrey to name just a few.

Charleston is beautiful and balmy. I brought entirely the wrong sort of shoes and so am going to be hobbling back and forth in agony for the next two days. However, it is the duty of every good Christian to suffer a little for the Lord, so I will bear up under my afflictions.

Haven't met anyone famous yet but expect to very shortly. Will be filming evening prayer and the talk after. Stay tuned

A Mere Anglican

We're off. In about an hour we will disentangle ourselves from our betrayed and screaming children, leave someone else to their mercy, board a variety of uncomfortable aircraft and arrive in Charleston, God willing and the creek don't rise, about 11am. Have carefully packed away some Anglican TV/Stand Firm paraphanalia-a camera, some sort of firewire thing, a tripod, a lot of little tapes, a lot of meaningless wire, and a thick user manual. We shall see what we shall see. Hope to see you there, or hear from you. Will keep regular posts throughout the conference.

Sing and Wail

I recently found this site (after searching a little bit). I attended boarding school at ICA (Internation Christian Academy-a boring name I always thought) in Bouake, Cote d'Ivoire, West Africa. We had to attend church twice every Sunday, once in the morning and once in the evening for "Singsperation". I always got a massive headache on Sundays due to the lack of liturgy, the amazingly long sermons and then the long Sunday lunch and siesta and letter home afterwards. I remember being appalled when someone told me that I would look with nostalgia on my boarding school days and miss them. Well, I don't miss them, but I do harbour a small amount of nostalgia, mostly for the friends I made and the amazing color of the sky when a storm would roll in. And I had one of these songs running through my head for several days and wanted to get all the words straight. The recordings are cheezy-80s synthesizer. And many of them don't have the music to go with. But they're all straight scripture and an excellent way to get some key passages stuck in your head. Enjoy.

With Desire I have Desired

Everything in the son felt with him who said, I am not worthy that Thou shouldest come under my roof, and yet he said, O when wilt Thou come unto me? I will walk within my house with a perfect heart; for I know that Thy commandment is life everlasting. As his thoughts were occupied thus, he found himself on the shore of the sea. And he took a grain of sand from the miles of sand about him and he held it in his hand. Then he knew that his desire for the Presence of his Lord was like a little grain for smallness in comparision with his Lord's desire to come under his roof, for that was like the measure of the measureless sands. And as his thoughts followed this great thought, Jesus his Lord answered and said unto him, With desire have I desired.

His thoughts said...
His Father said...
Amy Carmichael

Thanksgiving

He Slept! All the way through. 10:30pm to 7:30 In The Morning!!!!! Can you believe it. This one enormous, well layered, almost 6 month old baby was still waking up at 2AM and 4AM for a little snack. Well, not little--2 full feedings in the middle of the night. But after 2 agonized nights of standing next to his crib repeatedly putting his plug into his mouth with each piercing scream, last night he appeared to have given up and just decided to sleep.

May the Lord be praised.
I had every hope of leaving him home so as to come to Mere Anglicanism childless, but if he refused to sleep I wasn't going to leave some nice person at his mercy for three days. So, we'll be there with bells on. And if you had hoped to meet our children, tough, we're not bringing them. :)

Another Agonized Thought

Well, the legal battles begin in earnest. As everyone is noting, its not a surprise. It was the obvious next step. However, knowing in advance that its going to happen doesn't mitigate against that horrible sick feeling in the pit of the stomach as each new step is taken, each new weapon is armed for war.

I remember seeing Bishop Lee driving around the seminary or meeting with various groups in the refectory (as I believe it is known)--black and purple, carefully quaffed hair, eyes always in the middle distance. Indeed, his face mirrored perfectly in expression the many portraits looming over us innocents as we ate our breakfasts, lunches and dinners.

As I consider my whole time in the Episcopal Church-from confirmation through the ordination process and seminary-I can't fix in my mind the face of one Godly bishop who has impacted me personally. All I see are seas distantly expressioned purple.

I hope for better things in the days to come. I hope to actually meet some Godly and trustworthy bishops face to face and work for them and be impacted and changed. I hope even more that in the days to come these Congregations in VA will stand and speak the truth and WIN. More than hope, I will even Pray.

In Memory of....

I'm into my fifth cold. I felt it come on unmistakably last night during a long and tedious discussion about how best to procure a memorial plaque. You guest it--Vestry for two hours. And you know I continue to feel awful because I got saddled with the job of finding, buying and otherwise organizing this plaque. 'Let Anne Do It' being the ringing cry of our church and vestry. If I had had my wits about me I would have protested loudly enough to shove the responsability onto someone else. Instead I only noticed when I read the notes later (which I had taken). To quote, 'actionable, Anne will look through catalogues and buy memorial plaque, coordinating with--about wooden base for plaque.' That's when I felt that dull hated soreness creep up into my throat and head, bringing more pressure and misery into my already cold laden mind. Came home and confessed everything I could think of again. And started reading Job.

So now I'm sitting on the couch in my bathrobe and slippers at 10:30 in the morning while my bored children run screaming laps around me. I know I've got to get up and solve all the world's problems, but I just don't have the will.

Merry Christmas

So I went and bought my Saw. I insisted that the whole family go, which was a mistake. I bought the makings of two or three tables (making tables is my new thing) and we let Emma and Aedan each carry a table leg, which was also a mistake. Someone was constantly getting hurt and running into things and getting in trouble. I bought a vast quantity of wood as well, so that I will be able to make Lots of things. Now the Saw is sitting on my dining room table, requiering assembly. Matt says if I keep it in the dining room he will move his game laden desktop into the living room and never surface for air again.

The home fire burns bright

"Wow, this morning I was only at 3120 and now I'm up to 3230."
Eyes wide, "You look great, Anne. You look so thin and beautiful."
"I was talking about hits on my blog."
"Oh...isn't this preacher great. He's preached 12 sermons on just Romans 7."

Let all the whole world praise the Lord

Its raining so not very many people came to church. Must confess that I didn't much feel like going either. Very gray and dreary day. Walking through the parish hall I heard my child yell, 'Its my turn to be dead!'
Paused to watch the drama unfold. The children were taking turns burying each other under pillows and blankets. Apparently not everyone had had a turn.

Later got into a fight about public education. "I'm not sending my four year old into a den of godless secular humanism," I said.
"Well, she's got to be in the world sometime."
"Not when she's four" I said. "And besides, its worked so well up till now. Look how righteous and Christian and believing this culture is. Its working so well."
"Well, they still say the pledge of allegiance."
"Oh, all right then. I must have misunderstood." Then I felt bad. "Sorry," I said.
"That's ok."
"Good" I said, "because you've been hiding the candle snuffers and its been driving everyone crazy."

Saturday

Matt finally got sick the beginning of this week. After avoiding it for nearly a month, he succumbed and was laid flat for three days-unable to breath, unable to exercise, unable to cope with life. I started five or six posts--ranging in topic from KJS's recent interview, to the fact that we're taking care of Micah's cat (bringing our total, for the week, to FOUR cats), to various conversations that I've had with the children, etc. But I was never able to finish a thought. Now I am jammed in between all three children, plus a cat, trying to do the bulletin and sort myself out to do the Flight into Egypt tomorrow. I have a donkey, a Mary that was to have a Sacred Heart of Mary on it, but the Heart got left off and now there's a gap, and a large infant Jesus. I'm trying to sucker Matt into making me a Mary, Joseph and Jesus. We'll see. So, you are all spared my sarcasm about the fact the KJS doesn't know who Al Mohler is, among other caustic remarks I had stored away.

Whose Name

I'm on my fourth cold and cannot think clearly in this fog. However, it doesn't require too terribly much thought to enjoy the consistency of those worthy lady reapprisers who are so unhappy about the recent Panel of Referene's thingummy saying that its ok about Dallas. If you're reading this and you don't know what I'm talking about, just please go to the side and link to Stand Firm. I don't have the energy to put in all the links and remember all the right words for everything, as it.

I don't have anything new to add, however, my reading for this morning was Genesis 11. In particular, "Come let us build ourselves a city and a tower with its top in the heavens, and let us make a name for ourselves, lest we be dispersed over the face of the whole earth." Of course, idolotry takes many forms, pride and selfisheness resides in every human heart. There is no one who escapes it. But it finally occured to me that this, this wanting to 'make a name for ourselves' is why the VGRs, Susan Russels, Elizabeth Kaetons of this world are fighting so hard for the soul of the church. They're refusing to go be unitarian or something else because this is where they are laying their bricks, this is where they have laid their foundation. And they will build and build until their tower reaches the sky and God says, 'excellent, good job everyone, if only I could be as wonderful as you'. Trouble is, He's not going to. Rather, their language is already being confused. The deconstruction of the creeds, the articles of religion, the Bible, heck, language itself doesn't unite them or anyone else around a common tower-it causes confusion and mayhem and eventually bitterness. Bitterness that is gradually emptying the pews of their people.

What especially saddens me is, in fact, the rotten name women are making for themselves. In homes across America families are out of wack because women are so busy making a name for themselves. In the church the halls resound with emptiness as men leave the church, driven by women making a name for themselves. And around the world, America continues to be seen as destrucitve, arrogant, thoughtlessly and "prophetically" making a name for itself. Well, the tower is crumbling already around us. Confusion abounds. Our only hope is in the only name by which we may be saved, Jesus. May he have mercy and come swiftly.

politics

I never intend to get going on politics--avoiding the issue at all costs at church and just generally staying out of it--but boy, let me just tell you, after listening to NPR for a total of 15 minutes over two days I just want to shout at somebody.

The drum roll for more troops in Iraq has been steadily unrelenting for months and months and months. And all I've heard (although it could be that I have my head in a hole) is that more troops would be a good thing. And yet Suddenly, when it becomes apparent that more troops will be sent, its a Bad Idea. Well come on. Don't just be opposed to everything. Come up with some kind of plan. (obviously, I speak of the Democratic Party).

I'm convinced that Democrats today are like my two year old--if you repeat it often and loudly enough maybe it will become true, and, if something's not working out according to your plan, fall down and scream loudly.

I hope more troops go in, solve this complete mess-and quickly-and before the next election, or may God have mercy on us all. Well, of course, I hope God is having mercy on us now and in the future, but also a modicum of wisdom to go with it, because that also seems to be totally lacking.

Six Fings to do Today

1. Looking at the bird cage for a couple of hours.
2. Besuring the cookies are on the tray.
3. Making cookies and besuring the tea party is good.
4. Beranging the Christmas Cards
5. Besuring that the candles aren't dirty-that they're alwight.
6. Taking a bath after the tea party.

1, 2 and 4 have been checked off. The cage has been stared into. The Christmas cards have all be turned so that their pictures are facing the wall. And there are various trays of fake cookies scattered around the house. Now Emma and my mother are condescending back and forth to each other as they make cookies. We'll see how the cookies and tea party turn out. I refuse to be suckered in to these activities. Instead I will be lying on the couch, my ear carefully propped, reading The Light Fantastic, which I highly recommend if you're looking for something to read.

Plague, pestilence, mayhem and other general evils

Arrived home Tuesday at midnight after fully three plane rides, three airports, and hundreds of unhelpful airline people and tsa (is that what they're called) officials (Ma'am, you really should have told us you had a stroller before you got in line" O Really! Well, I'm telling you I have a stroller now! etc, etc.)--three completely exhausted children in tow. We descended from the horrible propeller plane, got our luggage, shoved ourselves into our car and then my ear was alit, as it were, by a fire within. As in a raging and horrible ear infection. I rocked back and forth in the fetal position all night until I could get to the walk in where the doctor, in a fit of brilliance, said, 'well, you probably have an infection. Hurts doesn't it.' Wanted to run screaming from the room and my own head but only said, 'Yes'. Am now taking horse like antibiotic pills and liberally souping up children with Motrin, Tylenol, Advil and chocolate. All their poor noses are bright red, cheeks burning, foreheads hot and aching. It seems that everyone we know, including ourselves, from one side of the continent to the other, is sick. And yet still, another day has gone back and Jesus has not returned. Will wait another day.

Bought new living room curtains in consolation for great suffering and agony-red with whispers of gold-and out of hope for the second coming. Am willing even to believe in the rapture if that will help.

Home again Home again

We're rushing around trying to get ready to go home again. The children have watched too much TV, eaten too much chocolate, and generally been spoiled rotten. So life will be difficult for a few days while we regain control of our lives.